Season

New Girl Season 1

by Zooey Deschanel, Max Greenfield, Lamorne Morris, Jake Johnson, Hannah Simone and 8 others

After her boyfriend cheats on her, quirky teacher Jess moves in with three freewheeling bachelors, who have plenty of issues of their own.

(22 total)

Characters

Schmidt (19)Max Greenfield (19)Elizabeth Meriwether (4)David Quandt (4)Josh Malmuth (3)Jessica "Jess" Day (3)Luvh Rakhe (3)Berkley Johnson (3)Zooey Deschanel (3)Donick Cary (2)

“Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses.”

— Dave Finkel, Brett Baer, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: Pine, loft, Poor People, outhouses, prestigious

“The economy stinks, bees are dying, and movies are pretty much all sequels now.”

— David Quandt, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: Economy, Bees, Dying, Movies, sequels

“This is a horrible neighborhood. There are youths everywhere!”

— Lesley Wake Webster, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: horrible, Neighborhood, Youths, Everywhere

“Guess whose personalized condoms just arrived!”

— Luvh Rakhe, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: Personalized, condoms, Excited

“What if he gets into an accident? What if he’s horribly disfigured, and I have to identify him, and all that remains are his private parts? I’m standing there, I’m saying, ‘Sorry, officer, I can’t help you, because no, I haven’t seen his penis.’ An then boom, he’s buried in an unmarked grave.”

— J. J. Philbin, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: accident, horribly, private parts, penis, unmarked grave

“Can we just take a moment to celebrate me?”

— Josh Malmuth, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: moment, Celebrate, take a moment

“Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!”

— Luvh Rakhe, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: Driving, moccasins, upset

“Youths!”

— Lesley Wake Webster, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: Youths, youngings, Young People, kids

“I’m really gonna need you to step it up tonight, okay? When I see you, I wanna be thinking, ‘Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?’”

— Donick Cary, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: tonight, step it up, Slut, dirty

“Can someone please get my towel? It’s in my room next to my Irish walking cape!”

— Nick Adams, Josh Malmuth, Berkley Johnson, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: towel, Irish walking cape

“I had figure skating lessons until I was 13, and then my mom sobered up and realized I was a boy.”

— Donick Cary, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: figure, skating, Mom, sobered, realized

“Damp towel, damp! It’s like a really big wet nap. I feel like I’m being licked by a golden retriever. Look at this bathroom. There should not be two girls in this bathroom. You’re too humid.”

— Josh Malmuth, Nick Adams, Berkley Johnson, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: damp towel, Nap, Simile Examples, Golden Retriever, Bathroom Bucket

“Nick is delicate. Like a flower. Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself.”

— J. J. Philbin, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: Delicate, Simile Examples, Flower, chubby, damaged

“Have you seen my sharkskin laptop sleeve?”

— Luvh Rakhe, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: Questions, sharkskin, Laptop, Sleeve

“Schmidt: Here’s another tip, don’t ask a guy out on a first date on the least sexy holiday in America. Jess: What are the sexiest holidays in America? Schmidt: The most sexy holidays are the 4th of July — Independence Day, obviously. Women’s History Month. Christmas.”

— Berkley Johnson, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: Sexy, holiday, America, 4th of July, Christmas

“Don’t pretend to know my pain.”

— David Quandt, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: Pretend, Pain, Do Not

“Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.”

— David Quandt, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: Old People, Freak, hands, legs, version

“Schmidt happens.”

— Elizabeth Meriwether, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Tagged: Life, Shit Happens, Problems

“I hope you like feminist rants, because that's kind of my thing.”

— Elizabeth Meriwether, Jessica "Jess" Day, Zooey Deschanel, imdb.com

Tagged: Feminist, Women, Rants

“I don't know what I'm doing emotionally or -- let's be honest -- sexually.”

— Elizabeth Meriwether, Jessica "Jess" Day, Zooey Deschanel, imdb.com

Tagged: Sex, emotions, Confused