Episode

The Nose Job

by Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, Tom Cherones, Joseph V. Perry and 14 others

Jerry's brain and penis play chess against one another to decide whether he should keep dating a vacuous model with whom the "sex is great" but not anything else. George is dating a woman with a big nose, Kramer tells her it like it is and she gets a nose

(5 total)

Characters

Peter Mehlman (5)Jerry Seinfeld (4)Michael Richards (2)Cosmo Kramer (2)Jason Alexander (1)George Costanza (1)

“Audrey: It’s amazing how many beautiful women live in New York. I actually find it kind of intimidating. Kramer: Well, you’re just as pretty as any of them. You just need a nose job.”

— Peter Mehlman, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Nose Job, New York, Bluntless, Too Honest

“The technical term for a nose job is rhinoplasty. Rhino, okay? Do we really need to insult the person at this particular moment of their lives? They know they have a big nose, that's why they're coming in. Do they really need the abuse of being compared to a rhinoceros on top of everything else? Whe…”

— Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Rhinoplasty, Nose Jobs, Baldness, Insensitivity

“Look at you! Look at what you've sunk to! Look at what you've become! Look in the mirror, ’cause you need help, Jerry. You need help, because I can't stand by and do it anymore. It's turning my stomach! I can't stand around here watching you destroy yourself. It's eating me up inside.”

— Peter Mehlman, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Pity, Despair, Hitting Bottom

“I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time. It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game. And I'm letting him win.”

— Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: beauty, repulsion, stupidity, Chess, penis

“I mean, I should be grateful someone like her even looks at me. I have no job, nothing. But I have to say, I think about the nose. I don't want to think about the nose. I don't ask to think about the nose, but I think about it. I go to bed at night, I tell myself, ‘Don't think about the nose, forget…”

— Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Rhinoplasty, Big Noses