Season 4

“Cartman: Mom, tell them how everyone in your family was big-boned. Tell them how they were fat, but grew into their bodies when they got older. Liane Cartman: Oh, sweetie, those were all lies. You're just fat.”

— Trey Parker, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute? Chef: Dagnabbit children! How come every time you come in here, you gotta be asking me questions that I shouldn't be answering?! 'Chef, what's a clitoris?' 'What's a lesbian, Chef?' 'How come they call it a rim job, Chef?' For once, can't you just come in here and sa…”

— Trey Parker, Chef, Isaac Hayes, imdb.com

“Mr. Garrison: What the hell is that? [walks to the window and looks out] Oh my God! What is that thing?! Children, there's some huge bulbous monstrosity heading for the classroom! [some of the kids slink down in their seats] Oh my God, it's awful! It's coming for the door. [the doorknob turns and th…”

— Trey Parker, Mr. Garrison, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Pip: Joe, do you know anything about women? Joe: Sure! They're those things with vaginas in 'em!”

— Trey Parker, Pip, Malcolm McDowell, imdb.com

“God: [after hearing Satan's story] Jesus, what the heck happened to you? Satan: Huh? God: You got kicked out of here for being a headstrong rebel. And now you're a whiny little bitch.”

— Trey Parker, God, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Hmm. Work for you, have my penis cut off. Work for you, have my penis cut off. Hmm, let's see.”

— Nancy Pimental, Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Cartman: You guys, I had a dream of how I can make ten million dollars. You ready? ...Boy band. Stan: Boy band? Cartman: Boy band. Kyle: I'm not joining any faggy boy band. Cartman: There's nothing faggy about ten million dollars, asshole!”

— Trey Parker, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Pip: Let's hear it for Cartman's big fat ass! [Cartman throws stone at Pip, who is struck and falls.] Cartman: Do British people count as an ethnicity for hate crimes? Others: Nah. Cartman: Sweet.”

— Trey Parker, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“I do not have sex with boys. I like men my own age. Ah! I mean I like women. Ah! What did I just say? I like titties!”

— Trey Parker, Mr. Garrison, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Dag nabbit, children! How come every time you come in here, you gotta be asking me questions that I shouldn't be answering?! 'Chef, what's a clitoris?' 'What's a lesbian, Chef?' 'How come they call it a rim job, Chef?' For once, can't you just come in here and say 'Hi, Chef. Nice day, isn't it?'”

— Trey Parker, Chef, Isaac Hayes, imdb.com

“Speak to me, Helen. Let me be your voice. [nothing happens] Come on, you blind bitch! Channel your spirit through me!”

— Trey Parker, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“[writing] Diana had never slept with another woman before, but it was an erotic thought she often fantasized about. [aside to Mr. Hat] Oh, yeah, Mr. Hat! Hot lesbo scene coming up! And as Rebecca's naked body lay before her, Diana couldn't help but feel aroused. 'Go on,' Rebecca said softly. 'Touch…”

— Trey Parker, Mr. Garrison, Trey Parker, imdb.com