Movie
Zombieland
by Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg and 33 others
Columbus has made a habit of running from what scares him. Tallahassee doesn't have fears. If he did, he'd kick their ever-living ass. In a world overrun by zombies, these two are perfectly evolved survivors. But now, they're about to stare down the most
(44 total)
Characters
“[turning to Columbus, Wichita, and Little Rock after a zombie kill] What do you think? ‘Zombie Kill of the Week’?”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Columbus: Are you one of these guys that tries to one-up everybody else’s story? Tallahassee: No. I knew a guy way worse at that than me.”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Wichita: [playing Monopoly] Ooh! Free parking... Little Rock: Yeah. Wichita: —which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland. Columbus: You want to know the best thing about Z-land? No—no Facebook status updates. You know, Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday. Who cares? Tallahassee: The bes…”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“There’s a box of Twinkies in that grocery store. Not just any box of Twinkies—the last box of Twinkies that anyone will enjoy in the whole universe. Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Some day very soon, life’s little Twinkie gauge is gonna go...empty.”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Columbus: [Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume; Tallahassee turns around and glares at Columbus] Okay. Let me begin my three-part apology by saying that I think you’re a wonderful human, with great potential. Tallahassee: It’s okay...but FYI, I have beat wholesale ass for a whole lot less than…”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Bill Murray: You are staring at me. It’s a hairpiece! It’s a piece. Wichita: It’s—I’m sorry. No, it’s just that you look remarkably like Eddie Van Halen. Bill Murray: I just saw Eddie Van Halen. Wichita: Nuh-uh. Tallahassee: Really? Bill Murray: Yeah. Wichita: Wow. Tallahassee: Where? Bill Murray: T…”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Little Rock: Have you heard about Pacific Playland? There are no zombies there. Columbus: The amusement park? Little Rock: Yep! Tallahassee: That place totally blows! [Little Rock and Wichita shoot Tallahassee angry looks] ...my mind. Just fun for the whole family.”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Columbus: You know there’s a place untouched by all this crap? Tallahassee: Back East, yeah? Columbus: Yeah. Yeah. You heard the same thing? Tallahassee: Out west, we hear it’s back East. Back east, they hear it’s out West. It’s all just nonsense. You know, you’re like a penguin on the North Pole wh…”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Tallahassee: Bill Murray, you’re a zombie? [Wichita hits Bill in his back with a golf club] Bill Murray: [cries in pain] Ow, I’m on fire! Ouch! Tallahassee: You’re not a zombie, you’re talking and...you’re okay? Bill Murray: The hell I am. Wichita: I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was...it was ‘you’ you.…”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Tallahassee: [discovers Hostess truck filled with Sno-Balls] Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Where’s the fucking Twinkies? Columbus: I love Sno-Balls. Tallahassee: I hate coconut. Not the taste, consistency. Columbus: [eats a Sno-Ball] Fresh. Tallahassee: Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain’t over yet.”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Tallahassee: Are you fucking with me? Columbus: Uh, no. You should actually limber up as well. Especially if we’re going down that hill. It is very important. Tallahassee: I don’t believe in it. You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Bill Murray: [dying] Is that how you say hello where you come from? Columbus: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I can’t believe I shot Bill Murray. Tallahassee: Mr. Murray? Bill Murray: I’m just Bill, I think, now. Tallahassee: Bill? Bill Murray: Yeah? Tallahassee: [pokes at Bill’s wound] I don’t think we’re…”
— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com