Quotes tagged ‘Old’

“You're not just any old broke-down sax man, you're college-educated one.”

— Brad Falchuk, Fiona Goode, Jessica Lange, imdb.com

“Everything changes when you get to big one-o. Your legs start to go, candy doesn't taste as good anymore.”

— Mike Reiss, Al Jean, Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright, imdb.com

“It's supposed to be mystical. The old man who sold it to me said it would help you on your journey to enlightenment. Or with cramps. My Spanish really sucks.”

— Silvio Horta, Marco Pennette, Betty Suarez, America Ferrera, imdb.com

“Mary: He called me ma'am. Marshall: Yeah, but he was looking down your shirt when he said it. Mary: Why are you being so nice to me?”

— David Maples, Matt Ward, Mary Shannon, Mary McCormack, imdb.com

“Nelson Muntz: Give me your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in! Mr. Burns: Ooh, I like his energy. Put him on the callback list.”

— Jace Richdale, Mr. Burns, Christopher Collins, imdb.com

“Eric: I killed her. She was old, and the shock of her grandson telling her that she was nasty killed her. Donna: Have you talked to Red about this? Eric: I'm not talking to my dad about this. Do you remember how angry he got when I didn't rake the yard? This is like, twice as bad!”

— Arthur F. Montmorency, Eric Foreman, Topher Grace, imdb.com

“Hilda: So how was your date with Rick? Zelda: Oh, not so good. I’m starting to feel really weird about the age difference. I mean, normally I don’t care about these things, but Rick keeps bringing up stuff that makes me feel old. Hilda: Like what? Zelda: Oh, he keeps talking about how he can’t wait…”

— Nell Scovell, Zelda Spellman, Beth Broderick, imdb.com

“I'm too young to die and too old to eat off the kids' menu. What a stupid age I am.”

— Megan Amram, Jason Mendoza, Manny Jacinto, imdb.com

“I don't wanna be around all these babies playing Pokémon, badly. This kid right here is just wasting his Charizard. [to the kid] You are wasting your Charizard!”

— Ali Waller, John Unholz, Robert Maitia, Brett Cawley, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Black, gay and old? I'm not gonna know which box to check on the hate crime form.”

— Allison Silverman, Titus Andromedon, Tituss Burgess, imdb.com

“Somewhere along the line, I forgot to pursue my dream and now I'm old and I'm a mom and it's just too late for me.”

— Craig Thomas, Carter Bays, Lily Aldrin, Alyson Hannigan, imdb.com

“[Recording] It's Gina's phone, leave me a voicemail. I won't check it 'cause it's not 1993.”

— Michael Schur, Daniel J. Goor, Gina Linetti, Chelsea Peretti, imdb.com

“I have a little bit of a problem with old people...I find them kinda creepy...and scary. And gross, kinda gross. It's their hands really, you can see right through 'em and all their inside business.”

— Rob McElhenney, Deandra Reynolds, Kaitlin Olson, imdb.com

“Darryl is so damned disorganized. Some of the papers in here are so old. Oh, good news, I found a coupon from Blockbuster. The Color Purple is now available on laserdisc.”

— Michael Hitchcock, Paula Proctor, Donna Lynne Champlin, imdb.com

“In my 40s and early 50s, I was always worried about getting old. Then one night I was a little drunk and thought: Hang on, you’re already old, so stop worrying about it. And suddenly those insecurities melted away.”

— Wayne Coyne, theguardian.com

“Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“You know you're old when... your wife says, "Honey, let's run upstairs and make love" and your answer is, "I cannot do both."”

— bobsagetscumgun, reddit.com

“Before men decline into old age, even in the very bloom of youth, they are involved in many troubles, and they cannot escape from the cares, weariness, sorrows, fears, griefs, inconveniences, and anxieties to which mortal life is subject.”

— John Calvin, amazon.com

“Some kids in Italy call me 'Mama Jazz; I thought that was so cute. As long as they don't call me 'Grandma Jazz.”

— Ella Fitzgerald, ellafitzgerald.com

“Whether or not you find your own way, you’re bound to find some way. If you happen to find my way, please return it, as it was lost years ago. I imagine by now it’s quite rusty.”

— Norton Juster, amazon.com