“Don't wake me up for sex and then expect me to put in work, you woke me up.”— Katya, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Sleeping, Effort, Hard Work
“The key to every girl's heart is good tongue work.”— Daily Sex Videos, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Oral Sex, tongue, oral
“Cosmo sex tip: instead of 'YES' and 'DON'T STOP,' mix things up by moaning 'AFFIRMATIVE' and 'CONTINUE.'”— emerald, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Cosmo, moaning
“My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!!!That's the best I've done so far!”— Shit Jokes, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, anal, Anal Sex, Jokes
“I got no sex life. Looked at two insects having a good time and questioned myself if they have a marriage certificate, I killed both of them.”— Mr. Boldwood, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Marriage, Insects
“Masturbating while reading The Joy of Sex is frowned upon by Librarians. I know this now.”— The Cuntess, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, masturbating, library
“Sex and drugs and Rocko's Modern Life.”— Soren Bowie, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Drugs, Sex, Television
“A woman that hands you a cold beer has love in her heart and sex on the mind.”— Logan, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Beer, Alcohol, Love
“No I will not take my sketchers off during sex.”— granny nabber malik, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Sketchers, clothing, Sex
“I mean sex is alright but have you heard 'Hey Ya' by Outkast?”— Joji, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Music, Outkast, Songs
“BEFORE SEX: you help each other get naked. AFTER SEX: you only dress yourself. Moral of the story, in life, no one helps you once you're fucked.”— Sex Freaks , twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Before Sex, After Sex, screwed over
“Anthony Hopkins has all these sex robots and I can't even get my phone to auto select the right wifi in the house.”— Greg Miller, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Robots, Phone, Wifi
“Things that are not as cool to do alone: sleep, eat, drink, game, watch movies, have sex.”— Mistress, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, masturbation, Movies, Sleeping
“Age is just a number you write into a box when you register as a sex offender.”— MR HAND, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Sex Offender, Age, Consent
“I have to say I was expecting a lot more sex and a lot less coloring books as an adult.”— jj hartinger, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Coloring Books, Childish, Expectations
“Whatever happens today, a lot of Americans are going to have some weird weird sex tonight.”— Erin Gloria Ryan, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Sex, kinky, America, Election
“Whenever you're feeling down, remember, you're the sperm that won.”— Sex & Relationship, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Sperm, Winner, alive
“I’m waiting for them to invent a pleasure robot that’s so lifelike, it won’t have sex with me.”— Conan O'Brien, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Robots, realistic
“*Havin sex w/ buzzfeed employee* Me: I'm gonna cum. Buzzfeed employee: Here are 16 other things that will make you cum, you won't believe #9.”— Brandon, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Buzzfeed, Clickbait