“Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it!”— Monica Geller, amazon.comTagged: real world, Tough Love, humor
“How long do cats live? Like assuming you don’t throw ‘em under a bus or something?”— Rachel Green, amazon.comTagged: cats, humor, Funny, Friends, Rachel
“Ross: 'Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.' Susan: 'Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don’t let you do it.'”— Ross Geller, Susan Bunch, amazon.comTagged: Funny, humor, Lesbian, Dating, Couples
“Well, I’m sorry if I’m not a middle-aged black woman. And I’m also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition.”— Joey Tribbiani, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Auditions, Employement, Acting, Performers
“Come on Ross, you’re a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.”— Phoebe Buffay, amazon.comTagged: Funny, humor, Dig A Little Deeper
“It’s a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion; it doesn’t matter. It’s moo.”— Joey Tribbiani, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Stupid, Moot Point
“You could not be any more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful.”— Ross Geller, amazon.comTagged: Funny, humor, Wrong, Successful
“Ross: 'Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and WON!' Chandler: 'Ross came fourth and CRIED!'”— Ross Geller, Chandler Bing, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Friends, Secrets
“Chandler: 'Condoms?' Joey: 'We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.' Chandler: 'And condoms are the way to do that?'”— Joey Tribbiani, Chandler Bing, amazon.comTagged: Funny, condoms, Sex, Hilarious
“Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.”— Joey Tribbiani, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Breakups, Stop Calling, Ghosting
“Monica: 'My motto is get out before they go down.' Joey: 'That is so not my motto.'”— Joey Tribbiani, Monica Geller, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sex, Mottos
“Oh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?”— Rachel Green, amazon.comTagged: Rachel, Funny, humor, Dating, wedding
“Rachel: 'Hey, Mon, look, I’m melting butter.' Monica: 'That’s great, Rach. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.'”— Rachel Green, Monica Geller, amazon.comTagged: Rachel, Funny, humor, Monica, Cooking
“I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”— Chandler Bing, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Advice, Sarcasm
“Phoebe: 'Hey, you know what I just realized? ‘Joker’ is ‘poker’ with a ‘J’. Coincidence?' Chandler: 'Hey, that’s ‘joincidence’ with a ‘C’.'”— Chandler Bing, Phoebe Buffay, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes
“Joey: 'Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks she’s like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!' Chandler: 'Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth.'”— Chandler Bing, Joey Tribbiani, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, Drama, Acting
“Joey: 'Suppose we’re a divorced couple.' Chandler: 'Okay.' Joey: 'And I got custody of the kid, right? Now, suppose the kid dies and I gotta buy a new kid.'”— Chandler Bing, Joey Tribbiani, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, Divorced Couple, kids
“Fine! Judge all you want but [points at Ross] married a lesbian, [points at Rachel] left a man at the alter, [points at Phoebe] fell in love with a gay ice dancer, [points at Joey] threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, [points at Chandler] LIVES IN A BOX!”— Monica Geller, amazon.comTagged: Tough Love, Judge, Friends
“Joey: ‘It just seems so futile, you know? All these women, and nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.’ Chandler: ‘Well now you understand how I feel every single day, ok? The world is my lesbian wedding.”— Chandler Bing, Joey Tribbiani, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, couple, Dating
“Couldn’t we just lose our virginities again? Because I think, actually, mine is growing back.”— Chandler Bing, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, Dating, Sex
“Chandler: ‘I got her machine.’ Joey: ‘Her answering machine?’ Chandler: ‘No, interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.”— Chandler Bing, Joey Tribbiani, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Dating, Call Him, Call Her
“Just so you know, it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!”— Rachel Green, amazon.comTagged: Rachel, Funny, humor, Dating, Sex
“She's your lobster. C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You can actually see old lobster couples, walking around their tank, you know, holding claws. ... See? He's her lobster!”— Phoebe Buffay, amazon.comTagged: Funny, humor, Love, True Love, Rachel & Ross
“But they don't know that we know they know we know!”— Alexa Junge, Phoebe Buffay, Lisa Kudrow, imdb.comTagged: Funny, humor, Love, Secret
“Chandler: 'I'm being transferred to Yemen.' Janice: 'I'll write you everyday...15 Yemen Road, Yemen.'”— Chandler Bing, Janice Hosenstein, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, Yemen, travel
“If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.”— Phoebe Buffay, amazon.comTagged: Funny, humor, Money, finances, computers
“Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic.”— Rachel Green, amazon.comTagged: Rachel, Funny, humor, Dating, Sex
“First divorce: wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second divorce: said the wrong name at the altar, kind of my fault. Third divorce: they shouldn't let you get married when you're that drunk and have stuff drawn all over your face, Nevada's fault.”— Ross Geller, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Friends, Divorce, Breakups
“Chandler still thinks I'm pregnant and he hasn't asked me how I'm feeling or offered to carry my bags. I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him.”— Phoebe Buffay, amazon.comTagged: Funny, humor, Pregnancy, Relationships, Jokes