Gary Hallet: Did you or your sister kill James Angelov? Sally Owens: Yeah, a couple of times.
— Robin Swicord, Akiva Goldsman, Adam Brooks, Sally Owens, Sandra Bullock, Practical Magic
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Latest Quotes
Can love really travel back in time and heal a broken heart? Was it our joined hands that finally lifted Maria's curse? I'd like to think so. But there are some things I know for certain: Always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and…
— Robin Swicord, Akiva Goldsman, Adam Brooks, Sally Owens, Sandra Bullock, Practical Magic
Since when is being a slut a crime in this family?
— Robin Swicord, Akiva Goldsman, Adam Brooks, Sally Owens, Sandra Bullock, Practical Magic
Sally Owens: And I don't want them dancing naked under the full moon! Aunt Jet Owens: No, of course. The nudity is entirely optional. As you well remember.
— Robin Swicord, Akiva Goldsman, Adam Brooks, Sally Owens, Sandra Bullock, Practical Magic
[Sally's letter to Gillian] Sometimes I feel like there's a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. The moon tonight, there's a circle around it. Sign of trouble not far behind. I have this dream of b…
— Robin Swicord, Akiva Goldsman, Adam Brooks, Sally Owens, Sandra Bullock, Practical Magic
Sally Owens: All I want is a normal life. Aunt Frances Owens: My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage! Sally Owens: Well, it's what I want.
— Robin Swicord, Akiva Goldsman, Adam Brooks, Sally Owens, Sandra Bullock, Practical Magic
What are you looking at? You're laborers; you should be laboring. That's what you get for not having an education.
— Neal Israel, Peter Torokvei, Pat Proft, Prof. Jerry Hathaway, William Atherton, Real Genius
Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races, we only had one entry into…
— Neal Israel, Peter Torokvei, Pat Proft, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius
[Discussing how Knight didn't come in to the lab] Bodie: He said he didn't feel like it. And I said, ‘You'd better!’ And he said, ‘Or what?’ And I said, ‘Or you're gonna be in trouble.’ And he said, ‘Jam it.’ Professor Hathaway: That's a wonderful story, Bodie. I noticed you've stopped stuttering. B…
— Neal Israel, Peter Torokvei, Pat Proft, Prof. Jerry Hathaway, William Atherton, Real Genius
[Chris is holding a lab beaker with pink liquid in it] Chris Knight: Here Mitch, taste this. Go on, you won't hurt my feelings, just try it. What do you think, too sweet? Mitch: What is it? Chris Knight: I don't know, I found it in one of the labs. [Mitch starts to induce vomiting] Chris Knight: Rel…
— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius
Mitch: But if I stay, what should I do? Chris Knight: You get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.
— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius
Jordan: Are you going to take me home to meet your parents? Mitch: No. Jordan: Why? Are you ashamed of me? Mitch: No, them. Jordan: Oh.
— Neal Israel, Peter Torokvei, Pat Proft, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius
[Kent opens his dorm room door to find his car inside] Chris Knight: Hey, Kent...that's your car. Mitch: Kent, you know you're not supposed to park that on campus. Kent: You've gone too far this time, Knight. Chris Knight: [whiny, scared voice] I had help! [points to Mitch] Kent: You, huh? Well you…
— Neal Israel, Peter Torokvei, Pat Proft, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius
Look at it this way. Considering the type of people you are and the environment you're in, you have to admit the strong possibility this may be the only chance you ever have in your entire lives...to have sex.
— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius
Dr. Dodd: Why is that toy on your head? Chris Knight: Because if I wear it any place else, it chafes.
— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius
Lazlo Hollyfeld: Well, how'd you do? Chris Knight: How'd I do? I passed! But I failed! Yeah! Lazlo Hollyfeld: Well, then I'm happy and sad for you.
— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius
Sir, let me take this moment to compliment you on your fashion sense, particularly your slippers.
— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius
Professor Hathaway: I want to see more of you around the lab. Chris Knight: Fine. I'll gain weight.
— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius
Professor Hathaway: When you first started at Pacific Tech you were well on your way to becoming another Einstein and then you know what happened? Chris Knight: I got a haircut?
— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius
This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.
— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, Real Genius