“Lucy: I don't know who you are, Henry... but I dream about you almost every night. [apprehensive pause] Why? Henry: What would you say if I told you that notebook you read every day used to have a lot of stuff about me in it? Lucy: I would say that that makes a lot of sense. Henry: You erased me…”Tagged: Dreams, Happiness
“Henry: Pardon me. Sorry to interrupt, but I notice we were both eating alone and I thought perhaps I could sit with you, maybe build a syrup Jacuzzi for your waffle house? Lucy: Oh, that would be nice, but I have a boyfriend. I'm sorry. Henry: You're making up a boyfriend so you can get rid of me?…”Tagged: Jacuzzi, Syrup, ringo starr, paul mccartney, Ringo McCartney
“Henry: Hey! Tattoo Face! Nick: Hey, Peanut Butter Cups!”Tagged: Peanut Butter Cups, tattoo face, Nicknames Dating
“Lucy: Did Alicia marry that guy? Marlin: yea. Henry: Doug, did you win the Mr. Hawaiian contest? Doug: I didn't know there wath gonna be a urine tethst. Lucy: [to Henry] Did we have sex? [Marlin and Doug look at Henry] Henry: No, we didn't. Just so everyone knows. [Marlin and Doug turn away] We want…”Tagged: lisp, Marriage
“Henry: Okay, this is her. Start beating me up. Make it look good. Ula: Give me your wallet. OK, haole, what do you think? You can come to this island, eat our pineapple? Henry: Help me! Not so hard. Take it easy. Ula: Try to bang our women. Making my sister clean your hotel room. Henry: OK. What…”Tagged: haole, Anti-White, Fake Crime
“Henry: I don't think that's an option, Lisa. Linda: Linda. Henry: I know. I changed your name for your protection.”Tagged: alias, Protection
“Henry: [to Penguin] OK, pal. When she stops, just let her pet you. Look cute. Go to the middle of the road. Thank you. Right there. Perfect. Lucy: Oh, shit. Henry: Here she comes. Smile. Where is she? Oh, my God! Oh no! Okay that didn't work. Shit your pants? So did I!”Tagged: Smile, shit your pants
“Ula: Really? Even though in 10-15 years she could possibly let herself go and then sex would be like, nauseating, for you? Henry: What, are you nuts? Your wife's right over there. Ula: I'm just kidding, Muumuu!”Tagged: Sex, Nauseating
“Henry: [on First Date #1] You know, why don't you try this? It's a kind of hinge. Lucy: Now, why didn't I think of that? Henry: You're too close to the object. Don't be too hard on yourself. Lucy: You're right. Sometimes you need an outsider's perspective. Henry: Fresh eye never hurts. Lucy: I'm…”Tagged: first date, nice to meet you
“Old Hawaiian Man: Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out. Henry: Settle down and eat your pancakes, huh.”Tagged: staring, Pancakes
“Dr. Keats: All I know about walruses is that out of all mammals they have the second largest penis. I have the first. Henry: That's my joke.”Tagged: Whales, Mammals, penis, penis jokes
“Henry: See what happens when you play with sharks. Ula: Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts.”Tagged: Dogs, Sharks, private parts
“Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups! Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch!”Tagged: Peanut Butter Cups
“Henry: It's gonna be all right, Luce. Lucy: [to Henry] Don't call me Luce. I barely know you. Marlin: Sweetie, you're sorta dating him. [Lucy looks at Henry] Henry: Sorry I'm not better-looking.”Tagged: Dating, all right, better-looking
“Henry: Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet. Lucy: Oh, yeah. Thank you. Henry: Okay. Lucy: Okay. [Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car] Henry: Hah! I can't believe you fell for that! Lucy: Well...my grandfather died while trying…”Tagged: Pranks
“I love you very much, probably more than anybody could love another person.”Tagged: Love, Movie Love Quotes