“Mr. Weir: We are not robots and things do not need to change. I like how things are! I like eating the same things. You know why? Because those are the things I like! I like chicken. And I like pot roast. And, that's how I feel about you Jean. Mrs. Weir: Oh please. You like me like you like a pot…”Tagged: Pot Roast, Robo0ts, Change
“Are you calling me irrational? Because I'll tear your head off, Daniel. I'll tear it off, and I'll throw it over that fence.”Tagged: irrational, Violence, Irony, Threats
“[holding up his thumb] This! The thumb! You think I don't know what that means? I know, Lindsay! It means, 'Hey, stranger! Please lock me in your car, drive me to God knows where and murder me!'”Tagged: Thumb, hitchhiking, Murder
“Lindsay, do you know what happens when you put a rotten banana in a fruit bowl? All the other bananas go rotten. And that's what Kim Kelly is: a bad banana.”Tagged: banana, Rotten Banana, Fruit Bowl, Bad Banana
“[prank calling] Fredericks? You're a turd. A stinky f-fat turd. Go sniff a jock strap, you poop head. You love patting boys' butts. You love patting boys' butts. Butt...you butt-patter! You're a perv and a loser... and a stinky...t-turd! [hangs up]”Tagged: Fredericks of Hollywood, Prank Calls, Jock Strap, Butts, Loser
“Well, everybody's got parents, Jean, even hookers. Remember that TV movie we saw?”Tagged: Parents, Hookers, TV Movie
“Sam Weir: Is this the best cereal you've got? Neal Schweiber: I don't know. I never eat breakfast. I just have my coffee. Bill Haverchuck: Before or after you shave?”Tagged: breakfast, Coffee, cereal, shaving, Slacker
“Sam: Think we could be arrested for making prank calls? Neal: Yeah, and we'll get sent to telephone prison.”Tagged: Prank Calls, Arrested, Telephone Prison