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1,631 quotes

“What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses.”

“What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke? This one’s gonna sleigh you!”

“What do you call a scary looking reindeer? A cari-boo.”

“What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap.”

“What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has No-el.”

“How is Christmas exactly like your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.”

“What did Adam say to his wife on Christmas? It’s finally Christmas, Eve!”

“What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.”

“What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.”

“What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs? Anything you want. He can’t hear you!”

“What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum—you can’t beat it!”

“What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.”

“Why do mummies like Christmas so much? They’re into all the wrapping.”

“What’s Santa’s favorite snack food? Crisp Pringles.”

“What do you call a blind reindeer? I have no eye deer.”

“What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa? A Christmas quacker.”

“How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.”

“How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house!”

“Why did Frosty ask for a divorce? His wife was a total flake.”

“What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.”