“What do people really mean when they say ‘congrats’ on your pregnancy? Nice work doing what teenagers manage to do by accident every day!”Tagged: Irony, Pregnancy Jokes
“What’s the weirdest stage of pregnancy? When people aren’t sure whether to congratulate you or buy you a gym membership.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes
“Why is it so great to be a test tube baby? You get a womb with a view.”Tagged: Puns, Pregnancy Jokes
“What do you do when your daughter, who claims she hasn’t slept with anyone, gets pregnant? Start a religion.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes, Anti-Christian
“How is being pregnant like being a kid again? There’s always someone telling you what to do.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes
“Girl: ‘Mom, I’m pregnant again!! It must be something in the air! Mom: Yup...your legs, honey.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes
“My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is that right? Yes, in the way that a tornado might be referred to as merely an air current.”Tagged: Childbirth, Pain, Pregnancy Jokes
“When’s the best time to get an epidural? Immediately after learning that your girlfriend is pregnant.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes, Epidural
“What’s the most common pregnancy craving? For men to be the ones who get pregnant.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes
“Is there anything in particular I should avoid in the aftermath of childbirth? Yes. Pregnancy.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes, Childbirth
“What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes, Lightbulb Jokes
“Are you having a natural childbirth? Why, yes—in that it’s completely natural to take drugs to alleviate excruciating pain!”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes, Drugs, Pain
“What do a pregnant woman and a burned cake have in common? You should’ve taken it out earlier.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes
“How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes, Nun Jokes, Anti-Christian, Anti-Catholic
“What would be different if men were the ones who got pregnant? Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes, Morning Sickness
“What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes
“How many days are there in a month? Each month has an average of 30-31 days, except the last month of pregnancy, which has 5,489,234.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes
“The more pregnant I get, the more strangers smile at me. Why? Because you’re fatter than they are, obviously.”Tagged: Pregnancy Jokes