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Woody Harrelson

66 quotesActor · Born Jul 23, 1961 · American · Male

Woodrow Tracy "Woody" Harrelson (born July 23, 1961) is an American actor, activist and playwright. He is a two-time Academy Award nominee and has won one Emmy Award out of seven nominations. His breakout role came in 1985, joining the television sitcom Cheers as bartender Woody Boyd, for which he earned five Emmy Award nominations (one win). Some notable film characters include basketball hustler Billy Hoyle in White Men Can't Jump, one-handed bowler Roy Munson in Kingpin, Haymitch Abernathy in The Hunger Games film series, Pepper Lewis in The Cowboy Way, Tallahassee in Zombieland, serial killer Mickey Knox in Natural Born Killers, magazine publisher Larry Flynt in The People vs. Larry Flynt, country singer Dusty in A Prairie Home Companion, and magician/mentalist Merritt McKinney in Now You See Me. He will be portraying the Colonel in War for the Planet of the Apes. For The People vs. Larry Flynt and The Messenger, Harrelson earned Academy Award nominations for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor, respectively. In 2014, he starred as Detective Martin Hart in the first season of the HBO crime drama True Detective with Matthew McConaughey, which earned him and McConaughey nominations for the Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series. 2Early life Harrelson was born in Midland, Texas, the son of Diane and Charles Voyde Harrelso

All Twinkies (5)Bowling (4)Fucking (4)friends with benefits (4)Bill Murray (4)Sex (3)Fuck (3)True Detective (2)Shit (2)Beginning Mystery (2)Family (2)Relationships (2)Dating (2)Arrogance on TV (2)ass (2)

From “Zombieland”

Time to nut up or shut up.

nut up shut up

Tallahassee: Are you fucking with me? Columbus: Uh, no. You should actually limber up as well. Especially if we’re going down that hill. It is very important. Tallahassee: I don’t believe in it. You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?

gazelle Lion limber

Bill Murray: [dying] Is that how you say hello where you come from? Columbus: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I can’t believe I shot Bill Murray. Tallahassee: Mr. Murray? Bill Murray: I’m just Bill, I think, now. Tallahassee: Bill? Bill Murray: Yeah? Tallahassee: [pokes at Bill’s wound] I don’t think we’re…

Bill Murray Murder Gallows Humor Regrets Garfield Movie

Tallahassee: [referring to Wichita and Little Rock, who previously hijacked them] They’re in the back, aren’t they? Little Rock: [pops up holding shotgun] Just me. Columbus: I’m really sorry. She was like a crouching tiger... Tallahassee: You got taken hostage by a 12-year-old? Columbus: Well, girls…

Girls boys Guns Puberty

Goddamn it, Bill fucking Murray! I had to get that out. I don’t mean to gush. This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time. Maybe not lately, but I’m such a huge fan of yours. You know, I swear, I’ve seen every one of your movies a million times. I even loved your dramatic roles…

Goddamn Bill Murray Fucking masturbate

Tallahassee: I’m not great at farewells, so, uh, that’ll do, pig. Columbus: That’s the worst goodbye I’ve ever heard, and you stole it from a movie.

goodbye Pig Plagiarism

Little Rock: Who’s Bill Murray? Tallahassee: I’ve never hit a kid before. I mean, that’s like asking who Gandhi is. Little Rock: Who’s Gandhi?

Gandhi Child Abuse Bill Murray

From “Kingpin”

The world can really kick your ass. I only have a VAGUE recollection of when it wasn’t kickin’ mine.

Kick Ass

Roy: What about a gross of fluorescent condoms for the novelty machine in the men’s room? I mean, those are fun even when you’re alone. Lancaster Bowl Manager: Yeah. Roy: You get it? Lancaster Bowl Manager: [impatiently, trying to read his Asian Brides magazine] Yeah! Roy: This is like the hula hoop…

Bowling Alley fluorescent condoms Asian Brides novelty machine

Man in bowling alley: Come on, boy. Bowl! Roy: The name’s not boy. It’s Roy. [makes a spare] Roy Munson.

Bowling

Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don’t mow another guy’s lawn.

Piece of Shit coveting thy neighbor's wife

Ishmael: You been drinking, Mr. Munson? Roy: I don’t puke when I drink. I puke when I don’t.

Drinking puking

McKnight Bowl Bartender: So, you two are dictionary salesmen? Roy: You would be punctilious in assuming that.

Dictionary Punctilious

ESPN Announcer: So Roy, where have you been for the last fifteen years? Roy: Well, I uh, well, ya see, I uh...drinking. Lot a drinking. ESPN Announcer: I see. Well, are you still drinking? Roy: No. I uh...I put...uh...why, you buying?

Alcoholism

That coffee wasn’t even hot. [takes a sip of coffee] Now, that’s hot.

Hot Coffee

Roy: Just because you’re familiar with the missionary position doesn’t make you a missionary. Claudia: Look, Mr. Munster, you’re not exactly the smartest guy I ever ran across. Roy: Oh yeah? And who are you, Alfred Einstein?

MIssionary Position missionary

Roy: [Whispering so as not to awake Claudia, whom he means to leave behind] Just be quiet. [as Ishmael whispers ‘okay,’ Roy trips and falls] Roy: Ooh! I think I tore my sac. Ishmael: [loudly] Are you okay, Mr. Munson? Roy: Shh! What did I just say? Ishmael: Uh, ‘I think I tore my sac’?

tiptoeing Slapstick

Mr. Boorg: How many children do you have, Brother Hezekiah? Roy: Uh, none that I know of. [Adopting a terrible Irish accent] What I mean to say is, I was, uh, wee, I’m unable to have children. Nasty cheese gratin’ accident as a young man.

Infertility

Neighbor: Roy, can you get sick drinkin’ piss? Roy: I think you can. Neighbor: Even if it’s your own?

Urine Drinking Urine Piss

Ishmael: [after losing a game] Mr. Munson, you all right? Roy: [calmly] Ish, uh, what happened in there? Ishmael: Well, I don’t know. Um, I thought I played pretty good. Uh, he’s just a little better than me, that’s all. Roy: Pretty good, huh? 186. [loses his cool] Roy: You lost to a club player!…

Bowling Amish Quakers

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