Season 1

“Don't mess with the money.”

— Donald Glover, Earnest 'Earn' Marks , Donald Glover, imdb.com

“She's gonna kills us all with her cuteness.”

— Donald Glover, Earnest 'Earn' Marks , Donald Glover, imdb.com

“Earn trying like the rest of us. But when he wants to do something, he does it. On his terms.”

— Donald Glover, Raleigh Marks, Isiah Whitlock Jr., imdb.com

“AIDS was invented to keep Wilt Chamberlain from beating Steve McQueen’s sex record.”

— Donald Glover, Darius, Lakeith Stanfield, imdb.com

“I don’t like people watching me eat, man. Make me feel like I’m in a zoo.”

— Stephen Glover, Alfred 'Paper Boi' Miles, Brian Tyree Henry, imdb.com

“I just think we need a chance as humans to fail in order to discover what actually works, you know? People don’t think there’s a process to being happy.”

— Stephen Glover, Earnest 'Earn' Marks , Donald Glover, imdb.com

“I don’t know, man, I like Flo Rida. I mean, moms need to enjoy rap, too.”

— Donald Glover, Darius, Lakeith Stanfield, imdb.com

“Just ’cause you dressed like a 6th grader don’t make you my manager, man.”

— Stephen Glover, Alfred 'Paper Boi' Miles, Brian Tyree Henry, imdb.com

“It’s hard for me to care about this when nobody cares about me as a black human man, you feel me? Like, Caitlyn Jenner is just doing what rich white men been doing since the dawn of time, which is whatever the hell he want. So why should I care? What make him so special?”

— Donald Glover, Alfred 'Paper Boi' Miles, Brian Tyree Henry, imdb.com

“That’s what rap is, making the best out of a bad situation, brother.”

— Donald Glover, Alfred 'Paper Boi' Miles, Brian Tyree Henry, imdb.com

“Poor people don’t have time for investments because poor people are too busy trying not to be poor.”

— Stephen Glover, Earnest 'Earn' Marks , Donald Glover, imdb.com

“Sexuality is a spectrum. You can really do whatever you want.”

— Stephen Glover, Earnest 'Earn' Marks , Donald Glover, imdb.com

“You supposed to be so smart, you can’t remember to flush?”

— Donald Glover, Raleigh Marks, Isiah Whitlock Jr., imdb.com

“Van does everything. She works, she raises our child, she’s smarter than me, better than me. I mean, that’s why I married her. She honestly doesn’t get the credit she deserves. I mean, ever. But that doesn’t deter her from being what she is, which is a mother, a provider, and a partner. Gun to my he…”

— Stefani Robinson, Earnest 'Earn' Marks , Donald Glover, imdb.com

“You want to manage a rapper but you can’t do business high?”

— Donald Glover, Darius, Keith Stanfield, imdb.com

“Chinese people are short ’cause of Genghis Khan.”

— Donald Glover, Darius, Keith Stanfield, imdb.com

“Van does everything. She works, she raises our child, she’s smarter than me, better than me. I mean, that’s why I married her. She honestly doesn’t get the credit she deserves. I mean, ever. But that doesn’t deter her from being what she is, which is a mother, a provider, and a partner. Gun to my he…”

— Stefani Robinson, Earnest 'Earn' Marks , Donald Glover, imdb.com

“Us humans are always close to destruction. Life itself is but a series of close calls. I mean, how would you know you were alive unless you knew you could die?”

— Stephen Glover, Darius, Keith Stanfield, imdb.com

“People ain’t just nice, Earn. When was the last time you were nice to a girl you weren’t trying to smash?”

— Donald Glover, Alfred 'Paper Boi' Miles, Brian Tyree Henry, imdb.com

“I just keep losing. I mean some people just supposed to lose? For balance in the universe? I mean, like, are there just some people on Earth who supposed to be here just to make it easier for the winners? Like, really.”

— Donald Glover, Earnest 'Earn' Marks , Donald Glover, imdb.com