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Idiocracy

by Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Narrator (voice), Earl Mann, Luke Wilson and 181 others(17 total)

To test its top-secret Human Hibernation Project, the Pentagon picks the most average Americans it can find - an Army private and a prostitute - and sends them to the year 2505 after a series of freak events. But when they arrive, they find a civilization

Characters

Mike Judge (17)Etan Cohen (17)Narrator (voice) (4)Earl Mann (4)Private Joe Bowers (3)Luke Wilson (3)Dax Shepard (3)Frito Pendejo (3)Dr. Lexus (2)Terry Crews (2)

Today I step into the shoes of a great man, a man by the name of Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Private Joe Bowers, Luke Wilson, imdb.com

mountain dew

It started off boring and slow with Not Sure trying to bullshit everyone with a bunch of smart talk: 'Blah blah blah. You gotta believe me!' That part of the trial sucked! But then the Chief J. just went off. He said, 'Man, whatever! The guy's guilty as shit! We all know that.' And he sentenced his…

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Female Reporter, Lidia Porto, imdb.com

ass Trial Blah Blah Blah guilty Rehabilitation

I like money.

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Frito Pendejo, Dax Shepard, imdb.com

Money

[addressing military brass about Rita's background] We did, however have to come to an arrangement with her pimp. A gentleman who goes by the name Upgrayedd. Which he spells thusly, with two D's, as he says, ‘for a double dose of this pimping’.

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Officer Collins, Michael McCafferty, imdb.com

pimp

President Camacho: Now I understand everyone's shit's emotional right now. But I've got a 3-point plan that's going to fix EVERYTHING. Congressman #1: Break it down, Camacho! President Camacho: Number 1: We've got this guy Not Sure. Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than ANY MAN ALIVE. and Number 3: He…

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, Terry Crews, imdb.com

dysgenics IQ Shit Emotional

Pvt. Joe Bowers: Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, y'know? Frito: I don't really think we have time for a handjob, Joe.

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Frito Pendejo, Dax Shepard, imdb.com

Starbucks handjob

Pvt. Joe Bowers: I just need you to tell me how to get to the time machine. Frito: Oh, that's easy. You go down by the museum and stuff... It's like- it's, like, by the museum... Sorta by... Actually, not really. More like on the street, you go, um... Wait, let me start over. Okay, you know where th…

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Frito Pendejo, Dax Shepard, imdb.com

Time Machine Directions

The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes that genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Narrator (voice), Earl Mann, imdb.com

Erections Hair loss Genetic Engineering Evolution

Joe and Rita had three children, the three smartest kids in the world. Vice President Frito took eight wives and had a total of 32 kids. Thirty-two of the dumbest kids ever to walk the Earth. OK, so maybe Joe didn't save mankind, but he got the ball rolling, and that's pretty good for an average guy…

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Narrator (voice), Earl Mann, imdb.com

dysgenics ass

President Camacho: Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of French fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution. South Carolina Representative #1: That's what you said last time, dipshit! South Carolina Representative #2:…

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, Terry Crews, imdb.com

dysgenics starving Bullshit Burrito French Fries

[laughs] Right, kick ass. Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded. What I'd do, is just like... like... you know, like, you know what I mean, like...

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Dr. Lexus, Justin Long, imdb.com

fag Kickass fucked up Shit Retarded

Rita: You think Einstein walked around thinkin' everyone was a bunch of dumb shits? Pvt. Joe Bowers: Yeah. Hadn't thought of that. Rita: Now you know why he built that bomb.

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Private Joe Bowers, Luke Wilson, imdb.com

Albert Einstein Atom Bomb Dumb Shits

And there was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn't just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Private Joe Bowers, Luke Wilson, imdb.com

fags Reading Writing Movies Farting

Unfortunately, Trevor passed away from a heart attack while masturbating to produce sperm for artificial insemination. But I had some eggs frozen, so just as soon as the right guy comes along...

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Yuppie Wife, Darlene Hunt, imdb.com

Heart Attack masturbation dysgenics sperm donor Artificial Insemination

Don't worry, scrote. There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kickass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Dr. Lexus, Justin Long, imdb.com

Kickass fucked up Retarded scrote

The #1 movie in America was called Ass. And that's all it was for 90 minutes. It won eight Oscars that year, including best screenplay.

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Narrator (voice), Earl Mann, imdb.com

dysgenics ass oscars Best Screenplay

As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most scie…

— Mike Judge, Etan Cohen, Narrator (voice), Earl Mann, imdb.com

natural selection devolution dysgenics stupid movies

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