“What I SAY about Norton is one thing; how I FEEL about him is something else!”
— Leonard Stern, Sydney Zelinka, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com
Tagged: Two-Faced
Characters
“Ralph Kramden, you just lost your membership card to the human race!”
— Leonard Stern, Sydney Zelinka, Ed Norton, Art Carney, imdb.com
Tagged: human race
“Ralph Kramden: Norton, let's face it, I'm a man with big ideas, and sooner or later, one of those ideas is going to catch on. And when they do, I'm going to be a big shot. And do you know what happens to people who become big shots? Ed Norton: Yeah, they forget their relatives.”
— A.J. Russell, Herbert Finn, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com
“Ralph: For the last time, Alice, I'm telling you, I'm going for the $99,000 question. Alice: For the last time, Ralph, I'll be very happy if you win the 600 bucks. Ralph: $600? Peanuts, peanuts! What am I gonna do with peanuts? Alice: Eat 'em, like any other elephant.”
— Leonard Stern, Sydney Zelinka, Alice Kramden, Audrey Meadows, imdb.com
Tagged: Fat-Shaming
“Ralph Kramden: Now, you know I'm not that kind of a man. I'm not the kind that eats and runs. Alice Kramden: Eats and runs? The way you eat, you're lucky you can walk!”
— Leonard Stern, Sydney Zelinka, Alice Kramden, Audrey Meadows, imdb.com
Tagged: Fat-Shaming
“[speaking to a recorder an apology to Alice] Hello, Alice. This is me, Ralph. Alice, I'm sorry. I'm miserable without ya. Please come back to me, Alice. I apologize for everything I've said. I even apologize to your mother. I know she doesn't mean the things she says, Alice, it's just her nature. Sh…”
— A.J. Russell, Herbert Finn, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com
“Ed Norton: Hey, Ralph, what's the normal temperature, around 98, ain't it? Ralph Kramden: 98.6. Ed Norton: What would you say a bad temperature is? Ralph Kramden: Hundred and two, 103. What is it, Norton? What is my temperature? [Norton becomes shocked as he examines the thermometer; Ralph gets impa…”
— Sydney Zelinka, Leonard Stern, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com
“In the words of the immortal bard, Shakespeare, 'There are three times in a man's life when he wants to be alone: one, when he's communing with his thoughts; two, when he's being tender with his wife; and three, when he's in the isolation booth on 'The $64,000 Question'.'”
— A.J. Russell, Herbert Finn, Ed Norton, Art Carney, imdb.com
“Ralph: From here on in, we are deadly enemies. I don't want to see ya, I don't want to talk to ya, I don't want to have nothing to do with ya. If you see me coming down the street, get on the other side! Norton: When you come down the street, there AIN'T no other side!”
— A.J. Russell, Herbert Finn, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com
“Ralph: What's the matter? Aren't you up on current events? Don't you read the papers? Don't you read comic books? That's the trouble with you; you don't know the latest developments. Alice: I don't know the latest developments? Who is it that lets your pants out every other day?”
— A.J. Russell, Herbert Finn, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com
“You know something, sweetheart? Christmas is...well, it's about the best time of the whole year. When you walk down the streets, even for weeks before Christmas comes, and there's lights hanging up, green ones and red ones, sometimes there's snow and everyone's hustling some place. But they don't hu…”
— Marvin Marx, Walter Stone, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com
“Alice Kramden: Now you listen to me, Ralph. My mother is coming here and you're going to be nice to her. Ralph Kramden: Be nice to her? That's impossible! We don't get along. We're enemies, natural enemies. Like a boa constrictor and a mongoose. She hates me, Alice! Alice Kramden: Ralph, Mother does…”
— Marvin Marx, Walter Stone, Alice Kramden, Audrey Meadows, imdb.com