Quote
Catalog

Quotes tagged ‘penis’

(114 total)

I showed that kid my penis and restored order to the universe. It's called the boy scout rule of 'D's. And it always works.

— Blake Anderson, Adam DeMamp, Adam DeVine, imdb.com

My penis is an animal.

— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.com

Funkhouser knowingly served us penis!

— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.com

You got the huge vagina and you're blaming it on the small penis. You know, it's not really necessary.

— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.com

I gotta check out my penis, I have to go to the doctor now? That's going to be a lot of fun; 'Where'd you get the rash?' 'Oh, I stuck a doll's head down my pants, Doctor. It feels good to me!'

— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.com

Jesus Christ! My penis is itching!

— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.com

Walter: Are you Jewish? Larry: You wanna check my penis?

— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.com

Charlotte: We've been trying, you know, to... Samantha: Fuck? Charlotte: Whatever. And it's just not... Samantha: Getting big and hard? Carrie: What is this, dirty Mad Libs?

— Jenny Bicks, Carrie Bradshaw, Sarah Jessica Parker, imdb.com

Well, I didn't see a penis today, but I definitely saw a big dick.

— Micah Schraft, Jennie Snyder Urman, Darci Factor, Justina Machado, imdb.com

Bay: I mean, do churchy people even go in for bachelorette parties? Daphne: C'mon, we don't have to have a penis piñata, but we can still have some fun!

— James Stoteraux, Chad Fiveash, Daphne Vasquez, Katie Leclerc, imdb.com

Rob Norris: If I thrust too deeply, will my penis latch onto the IUD coil thingy and pull it out? Sharon Morris: Yeah. No, it's fine. They put it more than two and a half inches inside me.

— Sharon Horgan, Rob Delaney, Sharon Morris, Sharon Horgan, imdb.com

Randy Marsh: Alright, now listen kids. There's some things that we need to put into context for you. You see, a man puts his penis into a woman's vagina for both love and pleasure. But sometimes the woman lays on top of the man facing the other way so that they can put each other's genitals in their…

— Trey Parker, Stan Marsh, Trey Parker, imdb.com

Hmm. Work for you, have my penis cut off. Work for you, have my penis cut off. Hmm, let's see.

— Nancy Pimental, Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

I would give her dick and bubblegum. I would send her a picture of my dick and a pack of bubblegum and say; chew on this.

— Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, imdb.com

Clyde: Well looks like someone is going to have to take another trip down to the penis cake bakery, Doug. Doug: Well what can I say, they make great cakes.

— Karin Gist, Doug Guggenheim, Josh Lawson, imdb.com

We've all seen penises we weren't supposed to see.

— Blake Anderson, Adam DeMamp, Adam DeVine, imdb.com

Don't be sorry, you should be with someone your own age who will go agro on you and will put your penis in a cage, but that's not me.

— Eric Zicklin, Dottie Dartland Zicklin, Liza Miller, Sutton Foster, imdb.com

Poovey: I can never unsee him naked. Archer: I mean, the size of that thing. Poovey: Haul that big bastard out and you can use it as an umbrella stand.

— Adam Reed, Sterling Archer (voice), H. Jon Benjamin, imdb.com

Butt-head: Face it, Beavis, you have a problem with your penis. Maybe you should wash it or something. Beavis: Yeah, I'll just…wait, with water? No way, then it'll get all wet.

— Joe Stillman, Beavis, Mike Judge, imdb.com

Diaz: Look, man. Nobody's ever gonna see that footage; the case was cut and dry. It's not like I'm dying to tell anyone I saw your- Boyle: Benny and the Jets.

— Michael Schur, Daniel J. Goor, Charles Boyle, Joe Lo Truglio, imdb.com

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