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Mr. Pendanski: Stanley, if you’ve got any questions, just ask Theodore. Theodore will be your mentor. Got that, Theodore? Armpit: Yeah, man. Whatever, dude. Mr. Pendanski: I’m depending on you. It should be no labor to be nice to your neighbor.

— Louis Sachar, Dr. Pendanski, Tim Blake Nelson, Holes

Mentor Questions Be Nice

They all have their little nicknames; however, I prefer to use the names their parents gave them, the names society will recognize them by.

— Louis Sachar, Dr. Pendanski, Tim Blake Nelson, Holes

proper name Nick Parents Society

Mr. Pendanski: Good morning, Theodore! Armpit: Man, it’s Armpit! I don’t know no fool named Theodore. Mr. Pendanski: Well, I don’t know no fool named Armpit. [Hands him water] Here’s your water, whoever-you-are.

— Louis Sachar, Dr. Pendanski, Tim Blake Nelson, Holes

proper name Fool

If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs, / The bark on the tree was as soft as the skies. / The wolf waits below, hungry and lonely, / And cries to the moon, / If only if only.

— Louis Sachar, Madame Zeroni, Eartha Kitt, Holes

Songs Woodpecker Tree Wolf Moon

Stanley: Man how did she know my name? Zig-Zag: Oh, man, she’s got the whole place wired. Oh yeah, she has these little cameras and microphones all over the place. In the tent, in the rec room, in the showers. Stanley: They’re not in the showers. Squid: Oh don’t listen to him. I read his file. It sa…

— Louis Sachar, Ricky "Zigzag", Max Kasch, Holes

Paranoia Cameras microphones

It smells like puke from a mule been ruminating on asparagus for two weeks.

— Louis Sachar, Dr. Pendanski, Tim Blake Nelson, Holes

puke Mule Asparagus

Mr. Pendanski: No one cares about Hector Zeroni. Stanley: I do.

— Louis Sachar, Dr. Pendanski, Tim Blake Nelson, Holes

Apathy

Mr. Pendanski: You are here on account of one person; do you know who that one person is? Stanley: Yeah, my no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather, that’s who it is. Mr. Pendanski: No, you.

— Louis Sachar, Dr. Pendanski, Tim Blake Nelson, Holes

Mistaken Identity

Magnet: Nobody messes with the Caveman. X-Ray: Did you see the Caveman back there? Stanley: I don’t wanna mess with anybody. Zig-Zag: Come on, Caveman. Stanley: ...I’m Caveman? Zero: Better than Barfbag.

— Louis Sachar, Ricky "Zigzag", Max Kasch, Holes

cave man barf bag

Stanley: Look, it says KB. Zig-Zag: Yeah...yeah that’s Keith Barrenger. Squid: Who? Zig-Zag: He was in my math class.

— Louis Sachar, Ricky "Zigzag", Max Kasch, Holes

Abbreviations math class

He’s not going to take it. Come here—eat the cookie.

— Louis Sachar, Ricky "Zigzag", Max Kasch, Holes

The patriarchy has seeped into women’s intestinal tracts. Let’s call it the pootriarchy.

— Jessica Bennett, Amanda McCall, Women Poop. Sometimes At Work. Get Over It.

Pooping The Patriarchy

The end came as silent as the leaves falling in autumn. There was no deciding moment; one day the leaves were falling then the next, the trees were bare. Our time has run out.

— Kari Minobe, One Year Of You

Breaking Up Heartbreak heart Love Poetry

The root flaw in sapiosexuality, most critics would agree, is the attempt to exoticize an ambient, unremarkable aspect of romance — most of us want a partner who stimulates the mind as well as erogenous zones — in what feels like a declaration of superiority.

— Miles Klee, You’re Not Sapiosexual, You’re Just Annoying

Sapiosexual People Suck

Stanley: I stole a pair of shoes. Squid: From a store or were they on someone’s feet? Zig-Zag: No, he killed the guy first, just left out that little detail, huh?

— Louis Sachar, Ricky "Zigzag", Max Kasch, Holes

sneaker theft Murder

Getting a salad and then realizing that there are olives in it is a day-ruining experience.

— Kat Angus, Let's Talk About How Disgusting Olives Are

food Olives Olives are nasty

[singing] You got to go and dig those holes. With broken hands and withered souls. Emancipated from all you know. You got to go and dig those holes.

— Louis Sachar, Ricky "Zigzag", Max Kasch, Holes

Emancipation ditch digging

X-Ray: Yeah, and maybe the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are still alive. Squid: Maybe my mom’ll stop drinkin’ and my dad’ll come back. Twitch: Man when Caveman stole that truck...oh... Zig-Zag: That was awesome. Armpit: Yeah, Caveman did have style.

— Louis Sachar, Ricky "Zigzag", Max Kasch, Holes

easter bunny tooth fairy

The single greatest aspect of living in New York is our superior breakfast sandwiches. It’s a fact.

— Vanessa Price, How to Pair Wine With Breakfast Sandwiches

Wine Breakfast Sandwiches food

People think we're dressing for men, but please. Men don't give a fuck.

— Roxane Gay, What Does Dressing For Work Actually Mean?

Fashion clothing

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