Quote
Catalog

George Costanza

185 quotesUnited States Of America · Male

George Louis Costanza is a character in the American television sitcom Seinfeld (1989–1998), played by Jason Alexander. He has variously been described as a "short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man" (by Elaine Benes and Costanza himself) and "Lord of the Idiots" (by Costanza himself). George and Jerry were junior high school friends and remained friends afterwards. He is friends with Jerry Seinfeld, Cosmo Kramer, and Elaine Benes. George appears in every episode except "The Pen" (third season). The character was originally based on Seinfeld co-creator Larry David but is surnamed after Jerry Seinfeld's real-life New York friend, Mike Costanza. Alexander reprised his role in an episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, reuniting with Jerry Seinfeld and Wayne Knight (also reprising their roles as Jerry and Newman, respectively). 2Early life and family George is the son of Frank (Jerry Stiller), an Italian-American and Estelle Costanza (Estelle Harris), presumably Jewish-American. George twice mentions that he has a brother (although never again after season 3). Lloyd Braun is his childhood nemesis who George feels was the son his parents always wante

All Dating (16)Attraction (11)Sex (10)Self-deprecation (6)Breakups (6)Relationships (6)Women (5)Baldness (5)Lesbianism (4)Revenge (4)Irony (4)Mental Illness (4)lying (4)New York Yankees (3)Employment (3)

From “The Revenge”

That's it. This is it. I'm done. Through. It's over. I'm gone. Finished. Over. I will never work for you again. Look at you. You think you're an important man? Is that what you think? You are a laughingstock. You are a joke. These people are laughing at you. You're nothing! You have no brains, no…

Quitting Cruelty Employers Laughingstock Brains

From “The Heart Attack”

I completely skipped healthy adulthood. I went from having orgasms immediately to taking forever. You could do your taxes in the time it takes me to have an orgasm. I've never had a normal, medium orgasm.

orgasm Delayed Orgasm Premature Ejaculation

Jerry, kill me, kill me now. I'm begging you. Let's just get it over with. Be a pal. Just take the pillow and put it over my face.

Suicide Depression Self-Pity

From “The Deal”

What is it about sex that just disrupts everything? Is it the touching? Is it the nudity?

Sex Nudity

I know less about women than anyone in the world. But one thing I do know is they're not happy if you don't spend the night. I could be a hot, sweaty room with no air conditioning and all they have is a little army cot this wide. You're not going anywhere.

Men Women Sleepovers

You're like a pathetic gambler. You're one of those losers in Las Vegas who keeps thinking he's gonna come up with a way to win at blackjack.

Gambling False Hope Las Vegas blackjack

That's why I don't have cable in my house. Because of that naked station. If I had that in my house, I would never turn it off. I wouldn't sleep, I wouldn't eat. Eventually, firemen would have to break through the door, they'd find me sitting there in my pajamas with drool coming down my face.

Cable TV Pornography masturbation Sex

You ask me to have lunch, tell me you slept with Elaine, and then say you're not in the mood for details. Now you listen to me. I want details and I want them right now. I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well, you get in the mood!

Details Kiss and Tell Secrets

From “The Baby Shower”

Every woman on the face of the earth has complete control of my life. And yet, I want them all…is that irony?

Lust Women Irony manipulation

What did you go out with me for?! Just to dump chocolate on my shirt and then just dump me altogether?! I don't deserve that kind of treatment! What, you don't have the common courtesy to return my calls?! To apologize! You think I'm some sort of a loser, that likes to be abused and ignored?! Who's…

Revenge Masochism disease Anger Apologies

Someday, before I die, mark my words—I'm gonna tell that woman exactly what I think of her. I'll never be able to forgive myself until I do.

Revenge forgiveness

From “The Chinese Restaurant”

Does anyone ever display the slightest sensitivity over the problems of a fellow individual? No. No. A resounding no!

Sensitivity

You know, we're living in a society! We're supposed to act in a civilized way.

Society civilization

From “The Note”

It moved! It was imperceptible but I felt it.

Homophobia massages

The truth. you want the truth? It is your earrings It is the chopsticks but it's so much more. You're pretentious. You call everyone by their full name You call my doorman, Sammy, ‘Samuel,’ but you didn't even say ‘Samuel’ You went ‘Sam-U-EL.’ ‘Pappy-ay muh-shay?’ What is Pappy-ay muh-shay?

Pretentious Truth

From “The Truth”

I say stupid things all the time. I can't go two minutes without saying stupid things.

stupidity Self-deprecation

I should be in a place like this; I envy this woman. You get to wear slippers all day. Friends visit. They pity you. Pity is very underrated. I like it, it's good. Plus, they give you those word association tests. I love those.

Psychiatric Hospitals Mental Illness Pity Envy

I've driven women to lesbianism before, but never to a mental institution.

Lesbianism Mental Illness

From “The Dog”

I have nothing to say to anybody. I'm so uninteresting. I think I'm out of conversation.

Boredom Ennui

From “The Library”

He made me smell my own gym socks once.

Cruelty

KWW K&M&&WWMK MWWWWWWWWWWW MM K & MWK WWKKMK&&&M&&&& WWWWWWWWWWWWWW &WK WWW K K WWWWWMMMWMWWW & W WK &WM WW MWWW&KK &K KWWWMMWWK W & & W W & K M &WWMWWWWMK K KK K W MW K MWMMWW& &M KMWWWW &WWWWWM& W WW K K K W &WWWWWWMK WWWWWWWWWWK&WWWWWWWWWMM &K K M W K W WW KWWWMK KWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&KKK &WK& KWW M K &W K &&WWWWWW&MWWWWWWM&K K WW WM & MM& WW W K&MMMK & MWWW & KWW W WK MWWWK WWWW K K W && K& WWW KM W & MWM &W WWM &&&K KMW& WWW& & W K & &M W &MWWM WWW KW WW K & WW M KK&K WWWWWWWM&K &W W& W K WW K&MK &MWWWW&K W &WK M &WW K&&K K WM WM W K W &MWW KWWW MMM&& KKKKKK W W & K WWWWWWW WWWWM &&K &WWWWWWWWWWWMK KKK&K K W& MK MW WWWWW WWW WWWWMK&& KK &MMMMMMMM&&&WWWWWWWWWWW K&M KK WW WW K W W &WW&K& WWW MWWWW MM&KKKMK WWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWWWWWWWWWW& KK&& WW KK KWW&W KKK & &W WWWWKKWWWW W K &WWW MM&&&MK &WWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWM KK KK K& W M& W MWWWM MWWWWWWWWM W &WM WW& MW &K &MWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&WWWWWWW WWWWWWW K & & W&M WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& &WW& WWWWWWWW &MWWWWWWWWWMMMMMMMWWWWWWWKWWWWWWK KK M K WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW && KKWWWWWWWW K &MWWWWWWWWMMMMMM&&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KK KW & M& WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MWWMWWWWWWWW KMWWWWWWWWMMMMMM&&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM KKK KW WW K W& WWWWWWWWWWWW&WWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWMWW& KMW &WWWWWWWWWMM&&&&KMWWWWWWMWWWWWWWW KK&K WWM &WW &W K &W&W MK MWWWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW &WWWWWWMWWWWMW &WW KMWWWWWWWWMMM&&K &WWWWWWM&WMWWWWWM KKKK WWM KM WWW WK WWWWW WWWWWMWWWWWWKWWWWWWWW M&WWWWWWWMMWKWK K W KMWWWWWWWWWWMM&K WWWWWWWK&WWWWWWW K K WWW & &WWK W& WW WWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MWWWWWWWMWWWW&W KM && &MWWWWWWWWWWMM& MWMWWWWWWWWKWWWW KKK WWWWW KM & K W KWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWW&MKM WWWWWWWWWWWWWWK& WK K K&WWWWWWWWWWMMMK MMWWWWM&KW&&&WWWK KKK&WWWM & WK WW WWWMWWWWWWWWWWWW WW&WW WWWWWWWWWWW&&WK WWW& &MWWWWWWWWWWM&K &MMMWWWWWWWW&WWW& KKMWWWW &&K W K K WWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWW&WWWKW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KMWM K&MMWWWWWWWWM&K &&WWWKMMMWWKWWWM KKMWWWW MM MW & & WWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWMWM KWWWWW&WWWWWWWW WW& &M &&&MWWWWWWM&& M&WWWWK WK K&WMW KWWWWW MM&K &K WWWWWW WWWWWWWWK&WW WW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WW K&MMWWWWWM&K &MWW& WWM WMKWWW WWWWW KK WWWKM &WWWWWWM &WWW&K &WWWWWWWMWWWWWW& WWWW KK&MMWWWWM& &MM&&W WWWM KWW& WWWWW K

... .,,::.. ...:: :,. :,, . ,,, . ... ,::. ... : . :: :: .: , ., : . , :. : .,.. .,::.....,: .., ,.,.: , ,., : :.....,:: .. : :,: : :., , .. .,, . . :., .... ,:::.. ,:: :,,: .,, : . ,.. : ,. ..:::. .. : : :,: . , : . .. . :: . . ., . .....,: :.....: ,..: ,.. , ,::. . , ,... .::: . ,: ::.: : . , .. ,.,,, : , , , .,:::. .,:: ,..:: ,.. ,:,. , ... ..,:, . , , ,.. , , , . , , . , :, , ,::,. ..: :..,:, . . ::, , .. .,:,. : , ::: . : : ,::, ,: : ., . , :,. , . : .. .,,. , :, . ,,, . , . ., , . : .,:,. , ,..: ...:: .:,. ., . , .,. . . :.:. , ,,, . : . .,..: . .,,,. .: ,. :, . .:, .:,. .:: , ,. . . , :.., :,.. : , :,:: , .. . : , .,:, .: :. , . . . .,, , . , ,. .. , ., , ,:: :, . : : , , . .,,. .,: , , .. . ,:,. . , . . . . ,. .::,: ::. , , , , ,, . : ,:,. .: :. .,: , , ,:. . :: . . ., .. ..,,: ::,,:. ,,,,:: ,., : ,. ..,. ..::,. .:, . ,, :, , .:: . ,.: , : ,. ,,: ,.:. ,:.,: :, , : : : .,. ,::, ..: . :. :, : . ,. ., , ,,: ,, ,,.:: :: .:: : :,,: : : . : .,:. , : ,, .. : .:, : . , ., : :, ..,.::::: , : . .,,. .: :. ,: ,. .: ,:, . . .,,:: : ., , ...:::: : :,,, :: . . : : : . : : : ,,. . :: .:. , .: .:, , . , ,,:: : ,,...:::, ,, . , . ., , :. ,,. , .,, ,::, : ., ,, .:. :: .,:, , .. : . :: : .: : : , . . . : : ,, ,,. , . .: .. :. ,, . ,, . : ..,, . , . , .. : : , , , . . : ,,. ., , ,, ,. .: .:,. .: :.: .,::. , :.: , . , , , .,,. ,: , : :. .: .,, ., : ., : . .. ,. :, . ,. : ., : ,, ,: . : ., .: .,, . ., , ,. , : . ,. ... .: ,, ., .. ,,. : .: . .:., .. . , : , .. ,: : . ,. , ,,. ,. , ,, , ,:, , ,. ,: . : .. ,: , ., . : ,. ,. , , ,,,, : : : :, , :, : , : ,: ., .,: , , ., ,: ., . ,. : .. : ,.,: : : :, : , .:: ., ,. ,, . , . . ,. :.,. ,,,,:: : , ,. , : , : .: : : , :. .,. .. ,, :.,. : ..,,:: : : , : : . : , : , : ,.,. .: ,,., .,,,:: , . , , . : ,: ., ., .: , ,,,., . ,. ..,,::, : . : . : ., ,. .. .: : : :., : : . ,.:,,: . .: : :, , :, , : ,. ., : ,, : : : :,,,., : :, .:, . , . .: ., , ., ,: ,: : .,. , . ::: ,:, , ::: : ..: ,, .. , .: ,, : . .:, ,. : :, , . :::: : :., : . : ,, : .: : :,, : : , :.:, ,. . . .. , . : : .: ,. ., . .::: :.: :, :.,, . : .::::. ,,, : ,: : ,

<~ ~~ < ~~ ~* <~ ~} }} }*<~ <~}*~ } ~~ <* * ~ ~ <* ~ } ~~~ ~ ~ ~~ << * <} <} }}*~ <~*** ~ < ~~ < ~ }< * <}*< ~ } }< ~< < ~ ~~ <~ * <* * } < **} }~ ~~<<* * ~~ *} } < * * ~ } ~ }~ ~ ~~~ < ~ * ~< <*~ ~<} }} }* } ~ <<* * }~< * } *< ~* }* } ~~ < * ~< <*< <~ < **} * ~~ ~<< ~}~ *~ } * }} } < } }* < } < }~ ~< < * << ~<< } *< } ~~ ~ ~< * ~ ~ } < } ~ * ~~ * }<} < } ~~ ~ ~ < ~ ~}< } }~ }*}}* ~ ~< * } * ~*} ** } < } * * ****~* ~<~ ~ ~ < ~*< ~}}~<} **~~~ ~ ~~ <} *~ ~ * ** }} < <*< ~~~ < <<< ~ ~*}}< ~ ~ * * ~ * < } * }~* <~ * ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ <<~ ~ ~ <~ } ~* <~ < <*} } < <*~} } * ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~ <} ~ * * } ~<~*} < * } ~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~ **~~} }< }* } * < }< * * ~ <~ < <*} *}~ } ~ ~~ ~ ~~<**<~~ ~ ~ < } < } * < } ** }*< } }** }* } ~ ~ ~~ } < <<**<*<~< ~ ~ } }}* ~ < * < } } * } < < * ~ ~ ~ ~~ }} **} ~ } }}**<~* < <}~ *<~}}} ~ } < ~ ~ ~ <*< < *~ ~* <} < << } } *< < ~}* } }} ~ < ~ }*<<}* ~} ~ ~} *} }* <*~< * }} <*~ * * }*} < } < ~ * <***} ~} ~ ~}} * } *<} ~* * }*}* ~ ~ ~~ ~ * ~ ~ * }~ * ~* } *< } ~~ * ~ < ~ < ~~~ <} * < ~ } *} ~ *~ } << ~ *< ~~ } ~<* ~ ~ <} ~*< * } } ~*<} * ~ ~<} << ~ }} ~ <~ ~ } *} <** *< } } < ~~ << < < ~ } } *~< } ~}~ ~ ~ *< * * * }* ~ ~ ~< }}* ~ < < * ~ ~ *~ < } } * * } ~ }} } ~<* < } * < ~ * * * } } ~ } ~~ *} }~ ~ ~ * * ~ < < } }}}< <* ~~ } <} < ~ < } * } } ~ ~ } ~~ } < * ~ *~~ ~~ } ~ }} }~ < < } * }<* } ~ } } } * *<~ ~~~ ~ } ** }* ~< ~* < } * < ~* **< ~ < ~ < } * <* } ~ ~ < < } } }}}*} ~ <*<~~~ * ~ ~ } ~ ~} <} << ~ **~ ~* *<< *~ } ** ~<~~~~ < ~~ ~* ~ } } ~} } } ~ *< *~ ~~ ~ <*~ }*}} <~~<~ < ~~~~ < < *} < }~~ ~ < } ~ ~* < ~ ~~ ~ < <~~ }* } } }} < }}<} ~}~ * * * <<~* ~ } }~ }~ ~ ~~~~ } * * *} * ~ }<~ }*<~ * << *

oo VUVU Uj U j V U j o j o UU j oj oU Vjj jo j UU o jjV Voj jooj V oj j o U j j o V VU V Uoj joV j Vj o U VVj U Vo U jUVj U VooojjoUU V V j U U V j U U j jjV UVoj joo V jU j V j Uj o j V U j V o o jo Vo U UU j V U U U Voooo V o oj j Uo j Vj U o U VUo jVjV V VVUU U o j j oo Vo UU jj jjV Voo ojjjjV V UVojjoVj j o Vjj U j o Vo V o jjjjjjjjoVojojU o U Uj oo jjVj o oo jjoooVVVV U o j o o o V j V U jjoVVVooooo j o j jV U oo jVVj U UVVVojjj V j oV V V U jj U j o j o o jjjoj Uoj o oj joj jo V VoU jo oUjj jj j oU VVoooj UVj oVo j U V oV Ujjj j j V Voj ooj V o j jU U j U o U Vj jo U V V UVjjoj o VUV VUU o o Uoj U U V UVojoo oVUUo UUUU o o ojU j V V j V j oo ooU V U o UVVV j o UVUUU Uj j U oV o V U o jj VV j U jj o j V o U VUU Uj o o U oo V V U o UV U o o U U UU U V V V Vj V o j U V V j UV U U U jo V o VUUU UUUj Vj j U V o U Vj V o o V V U VVVUVU ojo j jo UV o o V U o Vo j j V VoVUVU U j U V j U o j V U joV o oVVVU V o V jVo U VUV V jU UoVj UV U o V U j o U U U U jj UUU V o jj j o o V VV j ojV V jj U U V oU o UUU U U jV VV Vo j U U oU oj V VUV U j o oj VU UVj oo j oo j U U o o VUVU U o j V jjV j U U j V V V j U o jU j oUVUU o V j U V oojjjj j V V V U oVoVV U o V V U UVo o jo V V jV Ujo V j jooVVV VVV jj jV U U oo j jU o Uj oU U j V V V ooVVoU Vj oj j j U j UU oo UV j V jV UV j Uo U oVUVjU j o V o

W KMK WWWWW & K& WW WWW WWW& WWW &WWWWW& &M K & & W K MW& W M& WKM M &WW WW&K WMWWW& K& K & WMWW &W KK& KWWWWWWWWWWW KK K K &M WWWWWWW M WWW WWWWMMMWWWWWM K WWWWWWWW WWWWW WWWWMM&WWWWWW K W W W WWK WWWWWWWWM WWWWW & MWWWWM WWWWWW& &W W K WWWWWWWM WWWWWW WK WWWWW KWWWWMW KW& & & WWWWWWWMM WWWWWW K &MWWW WWM&&W KWW W KWWK W WWWWWW W &WWM WKKW W &W& WK WWW& W WWWWWW MW M KWWM WKWMMM WWW WW WW MMW WWWWWW&WW W WWWK WMW&MMK WWW WWWWMMWWM MWWWWWK WW W &WWK W&W&MWM MWW WWKWW&WW KWKWWWWKWW M WWK MMM WW WWW& K WWKWWM WMWWWW M& W& KWK &MWMMMW WW& W MW & WMWWWW K W && WWK&&W&W&& WM WWWWK & W&MWWWK K K M& K MWMW&&WWW W M&MWW& W K&WWWWW MWKK K K& M WKMKMW& K W &KWWW M&M& MWWKMW&M W&M KK&M W WWWMW WWWM MMWMMW M WM& MK K KW &WM& WKWWW&WWW &K MK K &&K &M&K& W&M&W WMK WM& K & KK KKK&WMW & K KK&

..,, . :,,,,:. . : , . : ,, , : .:, . .:.,.: .: ., . : . , . : . :. , .: . , :,, .. : :: : : :: , , , ,,. . , : : . ::. , ., :,.. , , ., :. ,. ..,:. . : : .. : . . . , :, ..:. . : . .. .: .. , , , . ,, : ..: . :. . : .. ., . . , . . ., . . .: , : : , :. .. , . . : . : , . . . . .. , , , : : , : : . . :, . :: : : . :,:, : . : : , . . ::,:: . :::: : ,:,:, . :, ., . . . .,:. ,::. , . .: ,, . ,, : . .. : . . ... . :: :. . : ., :,: .: . ., , , . : . . .,. , : . , . ., . . : : . , ..... , : . , , . .,.. : . :, , . .. : . ..,. : ,. : : . , .: . :: : : : .:, .. , .::....,

~ ~ ~ ~ < * ~* ~ < *} ~ ~ ~ < ~ * } ~ < < * < * ~ < }} }}~ * < }* *~* ~ * < * } * < }} ~~}* } *} } ~~}~ < ** < }~<**~ *<* ~ }} } ~<< *~ < ~ *~} } } <~<*} ~ <}} < ~ * } * ~ }* * ~ } * ~ ~ ~~ } *}~ ~ ~ <~ < * ~ * } < } } ~ ~< *< } * * < < * } < ~* ~ ~ ~ <~~* ~ < * * } * < *<~ < < < < * < } ~<<~ * * * * ~ } < <~ < < ~ } } * ~< } } < ~*} * } < ~ * }< * * } ~ } ~} ~ * } ** ~ * } ~ } < } ~}}~* * }} ~ } ~~ *<} < < ~ < < }* } << * <* < * * } ~* *}<~ } }<* < } } * * * ~< } } } < < * ~ < < < **~ * < * < ~}<} * ~} * ~ ~ }< ~ ~

V VV j o j U joUUj j V j Uo Ujj jUVo U j oU U V oj o j j jU oV j Uo Vj j joo o Uo oUj j o U Vj j V j jU Vj jV j V o o o oo U oo Uo o o U V V V o jV j U oV V j UU oj j Vo U jV j U U o UU j j o j oV U j U U VU VU Uo U Uo jj oo jj V V U U o o o oj U jj o j U j U Vo Voo U V V V U U j oV jo j o V j j o U U jVj U o U UU o U Vj oVV j U o U jjU U UU UVo oU jUV jo j o V UV j V V jU V V j V UV o oo U UoV j o o j V o o U U j j j Uj j o j jj U U oj o VU o oj Uo jUV o V UVj VV jV j oj U oo U j oj Vo jVoU Uoj V UooUUUUV UU jjUV ooj U ooVoj oo jVVV VVVVVoUVUV