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James Ferguson

17 quotes

All Fart (2)butt (2)Football (2)Dog Breath (1)Gross (1)mold (1)Fun (1)Pee Wee Football (1)Flirting (1)Cleveland Indians (1)State Police (1)Slapstick (1)Expatriation (1)Come-ons (1)tryouts (1)

From “Little Giants”

Rudy Zolteck: How’d I do, coach? Kevin O’Shea: I don’t know son. I don’t have a sundial.

sundial tryouts slow

That’s it, I’m leaving the country. I’m moving to New Mexico.

Expatriation New Mexico

Karen O’Shea: Kevin, this is pee wee football. It’s supposed to be fun. Kevin O’Shea: Not fun anymore. See, all the fun is gone now. See now, it’s war!

Pee Wee Football Fun War

Kevin O’Shea: [Spike has gotten the Cowboys penalized for a personal foul on the Little Giants] Hammersmith, if that kid of yours pulls another stunt like that again, you are both out of here. Mike Hammersmith: Hey, come on! I thought you wanted to win! Kevin O’Shea: Not like that.

Winning Cheating

Sean Murphy: [as The Cowboys have possession of the ball; to Rudy] Get ready, dog breath. Because when I’m finished with you, you’ll be farting out of your mouth and talking out of your butt! Rudy Zolteck: [to Tad] Is that physically possible? [the Cowboys hike the ball and Spike gains enough yards…

Dog Breath Fart Mouth butt

Briggs: Ready! Set! Go! [Kevin takes off in a charging sprint toward a couch cushion, held by Karen] Karen O’Shea: Kevin! Aah! [Karen lets go of the cushion and Kevin goes flying out the window, landing crotch-first on a tree limb] Kevin O’Shea: Oh! Doctor! [in pain, he tilts and falls into their…

Slapstick Ow! My Balls

Here’s a kiss for Murphey. And for Patterson and Briggs, too. [Farts loudly]

kiss Fart Gross

Kevin O’Shea: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Are you nuts? Rudy Zolteck: It’s still good! Kevin O’Shea: You’ll never get anywhere treating your helmet like a lunchbox, son? What is that? Butz: Cheeto’s. Kevin O’Shea: Crunchy or puffed? Butz: Puffed. Kevin O’Shea: Wimp! [Butz confiscates the food…

Cheeto's Peanut Butter wimp

Butz: [spying on the Giants] This is incredible! They got the guards in the backfield! The center’s on the right! And the quarterback isn’t even there! Kevin O’Shea: They’re just standing around, Butz. Butz: Oh, yeah.

Football quarterback backfield

Becky O’Shea: [quietly doing a cheer] Give me a J. Give me a U. Give me a… Danny O’Shea: Is that lipstick? Becky O’Shea: No. It’s a cherry Tootsie Pop.

Tootsie Pop

Danny O’Shea: I don’t know, but I’ve been told. Little Giants: Butz’s butt is green with mold. Danny O’Shea: You say thank you I say please. Little Giants: Kevin sits down when he pees.

butt mold Pee Rhyme

Danny O’Shea: Hey, I got an idea. How about we go put some mud tires on the go cart? Becky O’Shea: Nah. I don’t want to. Danny O’Shea: Alright, forget the tires. How about we go camping in the woods! Make moose sounds? Becky O’Shea: Nah. Danny O’Shea: All right, forget the moose sounds.

Tires Woods Moose Sounds Come-ons Flirting

Danny O’Shea: [Kevin and Danny are racing to claim the new player] This whole town may love you, but I’m the only one who knows how truly sick you are! Kevin O’Shea: I treated you like a prince! Danny O’Shea: You ignored me! Kevin O’Shea: I took you to see the Cleveland Indians! Danny O’Shea: You…

Sick Cleveland Indians Ignored Abandoned

Danny O’Shea: [Recruiting Timmy] Do you play football? Timmy Moore: No. Danny O’Shea: Do you like football? Timmy Moore: No. Danny O’Shea: Do you want to play football? Timmy Moore: No. Danny O’Shea: Great, you can be on our team.

Football Aloof

Danny O’Shea: [disguising his voice as a little old lady] State police? Oh, thank God! My name is Thelma Mae Rogers, I’m 86 years old, I live in Urbania. There are two men down the bridge from the Shell station spying on some kids! [passes the phone to Timmy, who starts to ‘cry’] I just don’t think…

State Police Shell Station Underwear high five

[Danny is introducing the Little Giants to their parents] Danny O’Shea: Rudy Zoleteck, your friendly neighborhood gas man! Mr. Zolteck: Gas man? I don’t get it. Mrs. Zolteck: Think about it.

friendly Neighborhood gas man

[receiving their uniforms] Tad: Death shrouds. [flips one around] Danny O’Shea: They’ve got your names on the back. Jake Berman: So the guys at the morgue can identify the bodies. Mike Hammersmith: What’s that cheerleader doing with a helmet on? Kevin O’Shea: That’s no cheerleader, that’s my niece…

Morgue helmet Cheerleader Pissed

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