“Sam: What's non-alcoholic beer? Bill: It's beer but without that ingredient that makes you drunk. Neal: Alcohol? Bill: Yeah.”Tagged: Non-Alcoholic Beer, Alcohol
“Sam Weir: Nobody thinks you're cool, you know. Lindsay Weir: Trust me, I know.”Tagged: cool, Uncool, Nerds
“Hm...looking for Chaplin, only seeing Hitler.”Tagged: Halloween Costumes, Charlie Chaplin, Adolf Hitler
“Sam Weir: Cindy Sanders is, like, a librarian type. Neal Schweiber: Yeah, librarian for the Playboy mansion.”Tagged: Librarian, Playboy
“Sam: So this is what having a girlfriend is gonna be like? She is your best friend, she is beautiful, you can say and do anything in front of her. Neal: Well, my dad always says that's what something what women want you to think before you marry them. That's how they suck you in.”Tagged: Girlfriend, Best friend, Marriage, Deception
“I don't need another friend. I already have two. I mean, how many more friends does a guy need?”Tagged: Friends, BFF
“Cindy: Remember when I told you I had a crush on Todd? Sam: Yeah. Cindy: Well I don't. Sam: Really? Cindy: It's more like an obsession.”Tagged: Crush, Obsession
“Mr. Weir: We are not robots and things do not need to change. I like how things are! I like eating the same things. You know why? Because those are the things I like! I like chicken. And I like pot roast. And, that's how I feel about you Jean. Mrs. Weir: Oh please. You like me like you like a pot…”Tagged: Pot Roast, Robo0ts, Change
“Sam Weir: Is this the best cereal you've got? Neal Schweiber: I don't know. I never eat breakfast. I just have my coffee. Bill Haverchuck: Before or after you shave?”Tagged: breakfast, Coffee, cereal, shaving, Slacker
“Sam: Think we could be arrested for making prank calls? Neal: Yeah, and we'll get sent to telephone prison.”Tagged: Prank Calls, Arrested, Telephone Prison
“Sam: Hey, Neal, I gotta go home. My parents are going to be worried. Bill: Yeah, me too. My mom doesn't like to watch Dallas alone. Neal: I'm just going to have my coffee now. Bill: Is that before or after you shave?”Tagged: dallas, Overbearing Parents, laziness
“Sam: It's Cindy. She's kind of boring. It's weird hanging out with her friends. And, I mean, all she wants to do is make out and stuff. Neal: I'd kill to be that bored.”Tagged: Boredom, Making Out, Jealousy
“Harold: You're not lying, are you, Sam? Sam: No. Harold: 'Cause you know what happens to liars in this world, don't you? Sam: They end up getting killed in jail. Harold: Right.”Tagged: liars, Jail, Jail Murder