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1,631 quotes

“How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.”

“What’s better than a cold Bud? A warm bush.”

“What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks.”

“What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together, we can stop this shit.”

“Why are men like diapers? They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.”

“What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common? They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.”

“What should you do if you come across an elephant? Apologize and wipe it off.”

“How did Burger King get Dairy Queen? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.”

“What type of bird gives the best head? A swallow.”

“How is a woman like a road? They both have manholes.”