“Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Never mind. It’s too long.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dick Jokes, Penis Size, Dirty Jokes
“What does it mean if a man remembers the color of a woman’s eyes after a first date? She’s got small tits.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Tits, Dirty Jokes, Dating
“What’s the best way to respond when a girl asks, ‘What’s up’? ‘If I tell you, will you sit on it?’”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dirty Jokes, erection
“How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dirty Jokes, Toilet Paper, Shit
“What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? A dictator.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Puns, Dirty Jokes, Dictators
“Why did Jesus die a virgin? Every single ‘wound’ he touched closed up.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dirty Jokes, jesus, Anti-Christian, virgin
“What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party...except you.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Bitch, Whore, Dirty Jokes
“What’s the square root of 69? Ate something.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: 69, Oral Sex, Dirty Jokes
“What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? A glad-he-ate-her.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Roman, Dirty Jokes, Puns
“What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? A glad-he-ate-her.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Roman, Dirty Jokes, Puns
“How are women like linoleum floors? If you lay ’em right the first time, you can walk all over them for the next 20 years or so.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dirty Jokes, Misogyny
“When is it OK to beat up a dwarf? When he’s standing next your girlfriend saying that her hair smells nice.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dirty Jokes, pubic hair, Dwarf
“What’s the difference between a clitoris and a cell phone? Nothing! Every cunt’s got one.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: clitoris, Cunt, Cell Phones, Dirty Jokes
“What do you do when your cat’s dead? Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dirty Jokes, Pussy, Puns, Double Entendre
“Why did the semen cross the road? Because you wore the wrong socks today.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dirty Jokes, semen
“Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn’t budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dirty Jokes, Constipation
“What does a dumb slut say when you ask if she’s ever tried 69? ‘Thirty dudes is the most I can screw in one night.’”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dirty Jokes, Slut, 69, Oral Sex
“What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? Thanks for coming!”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dirty Jokes, Puns, Double Entendre, Sperm Bank
“Why did the snowman suddenly smile? He could see the snow-blower coming.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Dirty Jokes, Double Entendre, blowjob
“How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same? Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.comTagged: Kentucky Fried Chicken, KFC, Dirty Jokes, breasts