All in the Family

“Mike: How long have you been believing in curses? Archie: How long have you been living here?”

— Michael Ross, John Rappaport, Michael Stivic, Rob Reiner, imdb.com

“Edith, somebody's gotta be dead; that's life.”

— Don Nicholl, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“Archie: All this celebrating just because one colored guy wants to leave the neighborhood. Mike: I thought you'd be the one leading the cheers.”

— Don Nicholl, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“Archie: This ain't something a man usually tells a woman: I love you, Edith. Edith: I know that, Archie. Archie: You mean I didn't have to say it?”

— Don Nicholl, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“Mike: We're all family here. Archie: Don't remind me!”

— Michael Ross, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“Edith: 'Nothing' just came into my mind. Archie: It must have felt right at home there.”

— Michael Ross, Bernard West, Edith Bunker, Jean Stapleton, imdb.com

“Mike: Why can't Mr. Quigley stay with us for a few days? Archie: Because we've already got one freeloader living with me, and bread's up ten cents a loaf!”

— Lee Kalcheim, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“God don't make no mistakes, that's how he got to be God.”

— Michael Ross, Bernard West, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“Why don't you go back to bartender's school and take a course in 'shut up'?”

— Michael Ross, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“Mike: C'mon, Archie, two measly dollars. Didn't you ever bet on anything? Archie: Yes...I bet that my daughter would marry a human being and lost!”

— Don Nicholl, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“Paul: I wouldn't have known it from looking at you. You don't look Jewish. Archie: There is a good reason for that. I'm not.”

— Vin Bogert, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“Archie: Your room is still in my house, which means I got the right to search it. Mike: [to Gloria] We're living in the Watergate Hotel here.”

— Austin Kalish, Irma Kalish, Michael Stivic, Rob Reiner, imdb.com

“Gloria: Michael, that's our money. We each contribute in our own way. Archie: That's right. You contribute deposits, he contributes withdrawals.”

— Michael Ross, Bernard West, Gloria Stivic, Sally Struthers, imdb.com

“Archie: If God had intended white people to dance with coloreds— Mike: He'd have given us rhythm, too.”

— Bernard West, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“Anybody that goes to see a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined!”

— Sam Locke, Don Nicholl, Olga Vallance, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“Barney: Hey, do you know any Polish jokes? Archie: Are you kidding? I got one living in the house with me!”

— Don Nicholl, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com

“Mike: Actually, your father is on his best behavior tonight. He only called me an 'unbeautiful thing'. Could've called me an 'unbeautiful Polack.' Archie: The night is young, meathead.”

— Rob Reiner, Michael Stivic, Rob Reiner, imdb.com

“Ruth Rempley: We were drowning. Swinging saved us! Edith: I think I would rather have drowned.”

— Michael Ross, Lee Kalcheim, Edith Bunker, Jean Stapleton, imdb.com

“[Edith is sorting through laundry ruined at the coin Laundromat] Edith: Look at this! You must have forgot to separate the coloreds from the whites. Mike: [incredulous] Archie? Forget to separate the coloreds from the whites?”

— Bill Dana, Michael Stivic, Rob Reiner, imdb.com

“Archie: [on TV] Now I wanna talk about another thing that's on everybody's mind today and that's your stickups and your skyjackings. Which if that was up to me, I could end the skyjackings tomorrow. Mike: [at home] You could? Archie: All you gotta do, is arm all your passengers. Your skyjacker knows…”

— Don Nicholl, Archie Bunker, Carroll O'Connor, imdb.com