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Married... with Children

Married... with Children is an American sitcom that aired for 11 seasons. It featured a dysfunctional family living in a fictional Chicago, Illinois, suburb. The show, notable for being the first prime-time television series to air on Fox, ran from April

(30 total)

“So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get any better until I go b…”

— Ron Leavitt, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Loser, Family, Misery, Pudding, Suicide

“A fat woman came into the shoe store today and wanted a pair of shoes to wear to a Christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star on her butt, and go as the world's largest, ugliest Christmas tree. Then she has the nerve to get mad at me because she's fat.”

— Ellen L. Fogle, imdb.com

Tagged: Christmas Party, Fat-Shaming, ugly

“Peg, kids, get ready to torture me—I'm home.”

— Sandy Sprung, Marcy Vosburgh, imdb.com

Tagged: Dysfunctional Families, Torture

“I mean, let's face it, even if you were beautiful—like that girl on TV—I'd still ignore ya. 'Cause you're my wife!”

— Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: beauty, Marriage, Marital Strife

“See, it's this little...period...uh, PMS thing. I don't know, I'm not a doctor. But I think that PMS stands for 'Pummel Men's Scrotums'.”

— (Not Listed), Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: pms, Scrotums, doctor

“That is the problem with everything. They try and make it better without realizing the old is fine.”

— Ron Leavitt, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Nostalgia, Old v. New

“Peggy: Hey Al, did ya miss me? Al Bundy: With every bullet so far.”

— Ron Leavitt, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Comedy Quotes, TV Quotes, Sarcasm Quotes, Marriage Quotes

“I'll tell you what I'll do then. We'll stand you in front of a mirror, I'll begin strangling you. When you reach the shade of blue that's satisfactory to you, you yell 'Moo' and I'll stop.”

— Wayne Kline, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Comedy Quotes, TV Quotes, Sarcasm Quotes, Marriage Quotes

“Woman: Excuse me but am I invisible? Al Bundy: Possibly from Pluto.”

— Richard Gurman, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Sarcasm Quotes, TV Quotes, Comedy Quotes

“Peggy: Uh.. honey. Why don't you just stay home and bowl me over? Al Bundy: But Peg, I prefer a place where my balls are returned properly.”

— Richard Gurman, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Comedy Quotes, TV Quotes, Sarcasm Quotes, Marriage Quotes