Season 9

“You can stuff you sorries in a sack, mister!”

— David Mandel, Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“All right, George, all right. I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry. I'm so sorry that I didn't want your rather bulbous head struggling to find its way through the normal-size neck hole of my finely knit sweater."”

— Jennifer Crittenden, Jason "Stanky" Hanke, James Spader, imdb.com

“I'll tell you a little secret about zip codes: They're meaningless!”

— David Mandel, Peter Mehlman, Newman, Wayne Knight, imdb.com

“That reminds me of the Haitian Voodoo rattle torture! You haven't gone over to their side, have you?”

— Bruce Eric Kaplan, J. Peterman, John O'Hurley, imdb.com

“I've seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, Darin Henry, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

“Well, I just stomped some pigeons in the park. They—they didn't move.”

— Bruce Eric Kaplan, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“You're in trouble, Kramer. I shouldn't even be talking to you, but I'm telling you as a friend. Here's how it's going to happen: You may be walking. Maybe on a crisp, autumn day just like today. When a mail truck will slow beside you and a door will open, and a mailman you know, maybe even trust, wi…”

— Spike Feresten, Newman, Wayne Knight, imdb.com

“You call yourself a lifesaver. I call you pimple popper MD!”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, Darin Henry, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“George, we've had it with you. Understand? We love you like a son, but even parents have limits.”

— Spike Feresten, Frank Costanza, Jerry Stiller, imdb.com

“Oh yeah, you've got three pints of Kramer in you, buddy.”

— Dan O'Keeffe, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

“Jerry, I know myself. If I'm out on the street and it starts to go down, I don't back off until it's finished.”

— Dan O'Keeffe, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

“You've got ‘shiksappeal.’ Jewish men love the idea of meeting a woman that's not like their mother.”

— Steve Koren, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“1%? They can kiss 1% of my ass!”

— Steve Koren, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“Doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say, 'Serenity now!'”

— Steve Koren, Frank Costanza, Jerry Stiller, imdb.com

“Serenity now. Insanity later.”

— Steve Koren, Lloyd Braun, Matt McCoy, imdb.com

“Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.”

— David Mandel, Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“What's the deal with lampshades? I mean if it's a lamp, why do you want shade?”

— David Mandel, Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“I can't take this anymore! I don't want to hear how interesting the change with the hole in it is! And if you tell me what time it is in New York again, you are going home in a body bag!”

— David Mandel, Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

“Jerry, let's face it, I've always been handicapped. I'm just now getting the recognition for it. Name one thing I have that puts me in a position of advantage. Huh? There was a guy that worked at the Yankees—no arms! He got more work done than I did, made more money, had a wife, a family, drove a be…”

— David Mandel, Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com