Shane Walsh: Jim, nobody is gonna hurt you, okay? Jim: That's a lie. That's the biggest lie there is. I told that to my wife and my two boys. I said it 100 times. It didn't matter. They came out of nowhere. There were dozens of 'em. Just pulled 'em right out of my hands. You know, the only reason I…
Catalog
Quotes tagged ‘Lies’
Gus: Don't you watch the news? Shawn: I can't watch Channel 8 anymore. Lloyd Lansing wears a toupee. It's like every newscast begins with a lie.
— Tim Meltreger, Steve Franks, Shawn Spencer, James Roday, imdb.com
Howard: What is it you did last night? Richie: Do you wanna hear what really happened or the lie we're gonna tell everybody else? Howard: Start with the lie. It's probably more interesting.
When a liar gets caught in a lie, they don’t come clean. They build a bigger lie.
— David Shore, Pete / Marius Josipovic, Giovanni Ribisi, imdb.com
Lies. It's like you have to lie to live. You're a lie-abetic. You have lie-abetes. Twice a day, you have to take a shot of insu-lyin'.
— Mike Barker, Matt Weitzman, Seth MacFarlane, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com
Stan: Roger? Where did you learn to skate? Roger: On my planet. You really haven't read my MySpace page, have you? You say you have, but you really haven't.
— Brian Boyle, Mike Barker, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com
It has sex, lies, puberty, betrayal, relay races… 'MILF Island' reflects the drama of the human experience, and isn’t that the essence of art?
— Tina Fey, Matt Hubbard, Jack Donaghy, Alec Baldwin, imdb.com
Robert: I mean, what if we'll never be able to be happy because our entire relationship was based on lies and betrayals so awful that karmically we're doomed? Sol: Wow, you're more Jewish than I am. Robert: Well, we Catholics know our way around guilt, too.
— Howard J. Morris, Marta Kauffman, Robert Hanson, Martin Sheen, imdb.com
Judge Marinovich: A cop and a defense attorney sleeping together? That's highly unusual. Peralta: At the time I did not know she was a defense attorney. I should have been able to guess, however, based on her ability to lie all over me.
— Michael Schur, Daniel J. Goor, Jake Peralta, Andy Samberg, imdb.com
Terry: Or is your favorite artist really Taylor Swift? Peralta: [Scoffs] No. Technician: Lie. Peralta: Allright fine. She is. She makes me feels things.
— Michael Schur, Daniel J. Goor, Jake Peralta, Andy Samberg, imdb.com
Let me help you. Let me help you. Because if you do, I promise you will get away with this.
Ari Frankel: Just go get the dog. Frank: I don't have the dog. Ari Frankel: So you've been in here tearing apart pillows and... pooping... on the floor? Frank: Yes.
Valencia: I actually don't have a lot of girlfriends. The last time I had a solid crew was in high school, but then they all got jealous because I got these amazing boobs, and they were still trolls, and so they spread all these rumors that I, like, slept with the English teacher. Rebecca: No! Valen…
— Rachel Bloom, Aline Brosh McKenna, Valencia Perez, Gabrielle Ruiz, imdb.com
You see, what I hate more than anything is a liar. A charlatan. Someone who doesn't believe in what they say.
Max: [acting as a tour guide with his limo] Welcome to Chicago! Now here's a fun fact. Chicago was originally nicknamed the Window City, but another city had that nickname first, so, thanks a lot, Omaha! Tourist: Really? That doesn't sound right.
It’s when you hide things that you choke on them.
You guys, are the fucking worst! Your gods are a lie! Fuck you, fuck nature and fuck trees!
— Dan Guterman, Dan Harmon, Morty Smith (voice), Justin Roiland, imdb.com
My life is based on lies. Lies that you make me tell.
I'm a poet, and I like my lies the way my mother used to make them.
I'm a poet, and I like my lies the way my mother used to make them.