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It's a glitter portrait. It's a portrait made from glitter.

— Jemaine Clement, Paul Simms, Stefani Robinson, Nastasia Demetriou, Jason Woliner, Marika Sawyer, Nandor, Kayvan Novak, Pilot

Glitter Portrait

You know what I like the most about being rich? You can just be horrible to people and they just have to take it.

— Harmony Korine, Lewis, Jonah Hill, The Beach Bum

rich Snobby

It's prime mating season. Seaweed is an aphrodisiac.

— Harmony Korine, Captain Wack, Martin Lawrence, The Beach Bum

Mating Season Seaweed Aphrodisiac

I love it when a plan comes together.

— Harmony Korine, Lingerie, Snoop Dogg, The Beach Bum

serendipity

Captain Wack: I only had four deaths on my watch. Moondog: Only four? Captain Wack: Four deaths in over eight straight years of dolphin touring. It's a terrific record. Now, I've been stripped of my license temporarily on five separate occasions but each time, I get it reinstated due to a technicali…

— Harmony Korine, Captain Wack, Martin Lawrence, The Beach Bum

Death Dolphins

I don't want you to put a penny of that stuff in the bank. You know, I don't trust those Illuminati motherfuckers.

— Harmony Korine, Moondog, Matthew McConaughey, The Beach Bum

illuminati savings account banks Motherfuckers

Now, what he failed to mention, that these dolphins have got a sort of corkscrew pecker. A little, whippy, winding ranky-cank thing. It's true, kids. It's sort of like a corkscrew. And it's orgy season. So hopefully, we will get to see something, some real wild stuff. Everybody's fucking, they're re…

— Harmony Korine, Captain Wack, Martin Lawrence, The Beach Bum

Pecker corkscrew Orgy Fucking Horny

Don't fuck with Captain Whack. You will get whacked for fucking with Captain Whack.

— Harmony Korine, Captain Wack, Martin Lawrence, The Beach Bum

Fuck Fucking

Fuck! I must've been high as a motherfucker when I hatched that plan.

— Harmony Korine, Lingerie, Snoop Dogg, The Beach Bum

Fuck Motherfucker high

Lewis: I'm not even upset, even a little bit, that I was not included in the ceremonies. Moondog: Oh, you thought you'd be included? Lewis: No, well, like I said, I'm busy, anyway, so like I said, I'm not offended. And I just want to be clear, this doesn't have to do... with the incident a few years…

— Harmony Korine, Moondog, Matthew McConaughey, The Beach Bum

Busy offended peep show Naked voyeur

I get all these things going, man, and they are all turning me on. And my wires are connecting upstairs and I start to hear music in my head. You know, and the world is reverberating back and forth and I hit the frequency and I start to dance to it. My fingers get moving, my head gets soupy, I'm spi…

— Harmony Korine, Moondog, Matthew McConaughey, The Beach Bum

Fucking dizzy Dancing

Moondog: Keep the pool hot. Jose the Pool Boy: I put it on 120 for you. Moondog: That's what I'm talking about. Keep it there, baby, and add the chlorine. Cause I may have a gang bang when I get back. I'll invite your mother. Jose the Pool Boy: Thank you, Mr. Moondog.

— Harmony Korine, Moondog, Matthew McConaughey, The Beach Bum

chlorine gang bang Swimming Pool

Moondog: Give me a lucky lotto triple seven and a cigar, would you? Cash Register Guy: Sure. Moondog: You don't sell acid, do you? Cash Register Guy: No... Moondog: That's too bad, man. This place used to.

— Harmony Korine, Moondog, Matthew McConaughey, The Beach Bum

Lotto LSD

Moondog: If I may suggest, your honor, I was told about this amazing rehab facility in the Virgin Islands that's got an open bar and 24 hour time massage. A little 'jerky-jerk' to take the edge off you in the detox period. Drain the old jizz pipe with the anti-toxins. Judge: Excuse me? Moondog: All…

— Harmony Korine, Moondog, Matthew McConaughey, The Beach Bum

virgin islands Jizz Pipe Detox rehab jerky-jerk

It's about time you guys got here, I need help carrying my luggage!

— Harmony Korine, Moondog, Matthew McConaughey, The Beach Bum

Luggage Lazy

PSA: Remember that we cannot control what other people say or do. What we can control is how we respond, and we can decide if they are worth keeping around.

— Lisa Stardust, Dear Virgo, This Cuffing Season You Might Want To Keep Your Options Open

Horoscopes Astrology

We have come up with a list of all the things we would like to change once the vampires are in charge. I'd like to see the construction of a huge opaque dome the size of the city, covering the city, and blocking out all sunlight. No noise during daylight hours. All local churches to destroy their cr…

— Paul Simms, Taika Waititi, Stefani Robinson, Yana Gorskaya, Ra Vincent, Nadja, Natasia Demetriou, City Council

Vampire Demands

You just shut up now, my stupid little baby.

— Stefani Robinson, Taika Waititi, Yana Gorskaya, Ra Vincent, Christian Sprenger, Nastasia Demetriou, Marika Sawyer, Nadja, Natasia Demetriou, Citizenship

Amusing Insults

When it comes to zoning ordinances, I have a few thoughts.

— Paul Simms, Taika Waititi, Stefani Robinson, Yana Gorskaya, Ra Vincent, Christian Sprenger, Nastasia Demetriou, Jason Woliner, Marika Sawyer, Colin Robinson, Mark Proksch, City Council

Emotional Vampires at Town Meetings

Government Official: Please describe the right to bear arms. Nandor: If it's a nice day, you should have the right to bare your arms. Government Official: All right.Moving on.

— Stefani Robinson, Taika Waititi, Yana Gorskaya, Ra Vincent, Christian Sprenger, Nastasia Demetriou, Marika Sawyer, Nandor, Kayvan Novak, Citizenship

Witty Dialouge Right to Bear Arms

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