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All farmers ever do is worry, whether the rain falls, the sun shines or the wind blows. In short, all they know is fear.

— Shinobu Hashimoto, Hideo Oguni, Akira Kurosawa, Gisaku, the Old Man, Kokuten Kôdô, Seven Samurai

Farmers Rain Sun Wind Fear

Train yourself, distinguish yourself in war... But time flies. Before your dream materializes, you get gray hair. By that time your parents and friends are dead and gone.

— Shinobu Hashimoto, Hideo Oguni, Akira Kurosawa, Kambei Shimada, Takashi Shimura, Seven Samurai

Training Discipline time flies Aging gray hair

You all make great scarecrows. Problem is, the enemy isn't a bunch of sparrows and crows!

— Shinobu Hashimoto, Hideo Oguni, Akira Kurosawa, Kikuchiyo, Toshiro Mifune, Seven Samurai

scarecrows enemies sparrows

This baby... It's me... It's what happened to me!

— Shinobu Hashimoto, Hideo Oguni, Akira Kurosawa, Kikuchiyo, Toshiro Mifune, Seven Samurai

Baby Fatherhood

You fool! Damn you! You call yourself a horse! For shame! Hey! Wait! Please! I apologize! Forgive me!

— Shinobu Hashimoto, Hideo Oguni, Akira Kurosawa, Kikuchiyo, Toshiro Mifune, Seven Samurai

Fool Horse Apology

Shichiroji: Kikuchiyo, what on earth are you doing? Kikuchiyo: I can't kill a lot with one sword!

— Shinobu Hashimoto, Hideo Oguni, Akira Kurosawa, Kikuchiyo, Toshiro Mifune, Seven Samurai

Murder sword

So. Again we are defeated. [Shichiroji looks puzzled at Kambei] The farmers have won. Not us.

— Shinobu Hashimoto, Hideo Oguni, Akira Kurosawa, Kambei Shimada, Takashi Shimura, Seven Samurai

Loss Defeat

Danger always strikes when everything seems fine.

— Shinobu Hashimoto, Hideo Oguni, Akira Kurosawa, Kambei Shimada, Takashi Shimura, Seven Samurai

danger unexpected

This is the nature of war: By protecting others, you save yourselves. If you only think of yourself, you'll only destroy yourself.

— Shinobu Hashimoto, Hideo Oguni, Akira Kurosawa, Kambei Shimada, Takashi Shimura, Seven Samurai

War Military Strategy Self-Protection Destruction

I saw the way your friend Mauricio looked at me; I thought he was going to shoot me with a tranquilizer gun and tag my ear.

— Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Moynihan, Rosemary Shanahan, Gwyneth Paltrow, Shallow Hal

Lust Horny Gawking tranquilizer gun

Kambei Shimada: Go to the north. The decisive battle will be fought there. Gorobei Katayama: Why didn't you build a fence there? Kambei Shimada: A good fort needs a gap. The enemy must be lured in. So we can attack them. If we only defend, we lose the war.

— Shinobu Hashimoto, Hideo Oguni, Akira Kurosawa, Kambei Shimada, Takashi Shimura, Seven Samurai

Battle Fort War Attack Military Strategy

You had me at 'get lost.'

— Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Moynihan, Mauricio, Jason Alexander, Shallow Hal

Rejection Sarcasm

Rosemary: Is that a Member's Only jacket? Mauricio: Yes. Rosemary: So what are you, the last member?

— Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Moynihan, Mauricio, Jason Alexander, Shallow Hal

member's only Sick Burns

Tony Robbins: Haven't you ever heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Mauricio: Have you heard the song 'Who Let The Dogs Out'?

— Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Moynihan, Mauricio, Jason Alexander, Shallow Hal

who let the dogs out?Beauty is the in the eye of the beholder

Hey Hal, come look at this turd! It looks like Klinger from M.A.S.H.!

— Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Moynihan, Mauricio, Jason Alexander, Shallow Hal

turd Corporal Max Klinger M.A.S.H.Gross

You can't come back with a comeback after eight seconds. You got three seconds. Five, tops. It's called a quip, not a sloooowwwwp.

— Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Moynihan, Mauricio, Jason Alexander, Shallow Hal

Comeback Quip

[after introducing his overweight girlfriend to Mauricio] Hal: Does she take the cake, or what? Mauricio: She takes the whole bakery, Hal.

— Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Moynihan, Hal Larson, Jack Black, Shallow Hal

Fat-Shaming take the cake

Hal: So what do you weigh, like 110? 115? Rosemary: [sarcastically] Which one of my butt cheeks are you talking about?

— Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Moynihan, Hal Larson, Jack Black, Shallow Hal

Fat-Shaming

[after Rosemary's weight crushed a chair] Hal: Jesus Christ! What the hell's wrong with this chair? What's this shit made out of, anyway? Restaurant Manager: Uhh... Steel.

— Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Moynihan, Hal Larson, Jack Black, Shallow Hal

Fat-Shaming

[Hal is going to make his move on some unattractive girls] Hal: I'm going for the one in the middle. You can have your pick of the other two. Mauricio: So you get the hyena, and I have to choose between the hippo and the giraffe?

— Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Moynihan, Hal Larson, Jack Black, Shallow Hal

Fat-Shaming Thin-Shaming Objectification

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