Triple T.K.A. Time to totally kick ass.
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Keenen Ivory Wayans
Keenen Ivory Wayans, Sr. (born June 8, 1958) is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and a member of the Wayans Family of entertainers. He first came to prominence as the host and co-creator of the 1990–1994 Fox sketch comedy series In Living Color. He has produced, directed and/or written a large number of films, starting with Hollywood Shuffle, which he co-wrote, in 1987. A majority of these films have included him and one or more of his brothers and sisters in the cast. One of these films, Scary Movie (2000), which Wayans directed, was the highest-grossing movie ever directed by an African American until it was surpassed by Tim Story's Fantastic Four in 2005. From 1997 to 1998, he hosted the talk show The Keenen Ivory Wayans Show. Most recently, he was a judge for the eighth season of Last Comic Standing. 2Life and career Wayans was born in New York City, son of Howell Stouten Wayans, a supermarket manager, and his wife Elvira Alethia (Green), a homemaker and social worker. His father was a devout Jehovah's Witnes
Look King Kong. Why don’t you take you and your ‘1980 pick-up lines’, climb all the way up to the top of the Empire State Building, beat on your big old monkey chest, and then jump off? Excuse me.
Lisa: I’m Carnie Wilson before my gastric bypass surgery. Kevin Copeland: This one goes with your skin tone. Lisa: Somebody throw Shamu back in the ocean. [shouts] Whoo.
Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson] Sweetie! You’ve got to slow up with those cosmos! Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] Tee-hee! Oh, fine.
Hi, I’m Cellulite Sally; look at my huge ba-donkey. Don’t forget about me, I’m Backfat Betty. Now who could have said that? Oh yeah, it’s Tina the Talking Tummy. [cries] I can’t even wear a short skirt and a top without looking like a fat pig.
Take good care of him, oh, and teach him how to say ‘Yo quiero Taco Bell.’ Kay?
I don’t see why I gotta go out with Buffy the White Girl Slayer.
I am so...frick-in’...pissed.
Marcus Copeland: [Marcus emerges from the boot of the car, covered in the Wilson Sisters’ luggage] Man! You guys sure got a lot of bags for a weekend! Brittany Wilson: [scoffs] This isn’t a weekend! Tiffany Wilson: It’s the weekend! Brittany Wilson: Labor Day in The Hamptons. The last weekend of the…
Tiffany Wilson: [Tiffany is reading the Hamptons newspaper and sees a picture of them in the paper] Oh my God! Brittany? Brittany Wilson: What? Tiffany Wilson: [shows Brittany the picture] We’re on page 6! Brittany Wilson: No! Tiffany Wilson: Yeah! Brittany Wilson: No! Tiffany Wilson: Yeah! Brittany…
Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson] Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, checking in! [slams into postcard and knickknack holder, scattering items *loudly* across reception desk with his fake breasts] Kevin Copeland: Sorry, um, they’re new. Dr. Dorfman did an amazing job. Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany…
Kevin Copeland: [the Wilson Sisters get off the private jet, walk over to the arrival terminal, and meet Kevin and Marcus] Hi, I’m Kevin Copeland... Tiffany Wilson: [rolling her eyes, looking at them] We already gave to the United Negro Fund! Brittany Wilson: Yeah! [They continue walking] Marcus…
Agent Jake Harper: Hi. I, I, um...I need a credit card, please. And, and some I.D., please. Kevin Copeland: [‘Brittany’ takes ‘her’ I.D. out of ‘her’ handbag and realizes it has Kevin’s information and photo on. ‘She’ quickly thinks and acts offended] Credit card? I.D.? I’m so freakin’ pissed! First…
Kevin Copeland: [as Brittney Wilson] [Brittney comes the dressing room with an outfit] Kevin Copeland: How about this? Lisa: [Sobbing] You bitch, that’s so terrible! Kevin Copeland: [as Brittney Wilson] OK I’m going to go get help OK, you need professional help. Lisa: [Sobbing] OK! OK! Kevin…
Megan Vandergeld: [realizing her father’s hostage kidnapping plot, and he is the kidnapper] Daddy! Why are you doing this? Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson, but in his regular voice] Daddy didn’t tell you? He’s broke! Heather Vandergeld: [confused] What do you mean ‘broke’? Like, Martha Stewart…
Kevin Copeland: Forget him, Marcus. We can do this ourselves. Look, all we gotta is if, if, if... Marcus Copeland: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. ‘We?’ Kevin, this ain’t about ‘we.’ It’s never been. It’s about you. You come up with some stupid idea and I’m dumb enough to go along with it. And look…
Kevin Copeland: I’m gonna have a BF! Marcus Copeland: Oh, my God, she’s gonna have a bitch fit! Hotel Clerk: No, don’t d-d-d-don’t have a, a, a BF now. Kevin Copeland: I wanna speak to your supervisor! Better yet, I’m gonna write a letter! Marcus Copeland: You are in big trouble! Kevin Copeland:…
Kevin Copeland: [chasing and tackling Purse Snatcher] Gimme that. Purse Snatcher: Jesus, lady! All this for just a handbag? Kevin Copeland: It’s not ‘just’ a handbag. It’s Prada.
Once you go black, you gonna need a wheelchair.
These starving kids in Africa make me so sad. They don’t even have to try to be skinny.