You know, Puff Daddy. Anyway, everybody was drinking Cristal champagne and then is started to get wild and people were getting freaky in the pool and stuff, I look over and there was your girl getting buckwild in the jacuzzi. With a back-up dancer! I mean that's nasty. That's lower than a security…
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Shawn Wayans
Shawn Mathis Wayans (born January 19, 1971) is an American actor, DJ, producer, writer and comedian who starred in In Living Color, The Wayans Bros., and White Chicks. He is the brother of Marlon, Keenen Ivory, Damon Sr., Kim, Elvira, and Nadia Wayans. 2Early life Wayans, the ninth of ten siblings, was born in New York City, New York, the son of Elvira Alethia (Green), a homemaker and social worker, and Howell Stouten Wayans, a supermarket manager. His family were once Jehovah's Witnesses. Wayans grew up in the Fulton Houses in the Manhattan neighborhood of Chelsea and is a 1989 graduate of the Bayard Rustin High School for the Humanities. On Fox's In Living Color, he began as DJ SW-1 and later became a featured performer, working with brothers Dwayne, Keenen (the show's creator), Damon, Marlon and sister Kim. Along with Marlon, Shawn Wayans created and starred in the sitcom The Wayans Bros. (The WB, 1995–99) and co-wrote, co-executive produced and starred in the feature Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (1996), in which Keenen also acted. Wayans guest-starred on episodes of MacGyver and Hangin' with Mr. Cooper and provided the voice of Toof for the animated children's series Waynehead (based on brother Damon's real-life childhood experiences
I'm on T.V. Oh sh**, first Cops, now this. I'm gonna be a star, son.
Can I tell you a secret? I see dead people... Wet gotta roll some more of that sh** son!
Cindy! This is a skeleton, this is bones. Would you run from Melissa Flackhart?
How come every time some scary sh** happens you white people always say we need to split up?
[While in a movie theater] I brought me a little snack of my own. Want some chicken?
Let that sh** just mutilate her white a** and leave me!
Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson] Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, checking in! [slams into postcard and knickknack holder, scattering items *loudly* across reception desk with his fake breasts] Kevin Copeland: Sorry, um, they’re new. Dr. Dorfman did an amazing job. Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany…
Kevin Copeland: [the Wilson Sisters get off the private jet, walk over to the arrival terminal, and meet Kevin and Marcus] Hi, I’m Kevin Copeland... Tiffany Wilson: [rolling her eyes, looking at them] We already gave to the United Negro Fund! Brittany Wilson: Yeah! [They continue walking] Marcus…
Agent Jake Harper: Hi. I, I, um...I need a credit card, please. And, and some I.D., please. Kevin Copeland: [‘Brittany’ takes ‘her’ I.D. out of ‘her’ handbag and realizes it has Kevin’s information and photo on. ‘She’ quickly thinks and acts offended] Credit card? I.D.? I’m so freakin’ pissed! First…
Kevin Copeland: [as Brittney Wilson] [Brittney comes the dressing room with an outfit] Kevin Copeland: How about this? Lisa: [Sobbing] You bitch, that’s so terrible! Kevin Copeland: [as Brittney Wilson] OK I’m going to go get help OK, you need professional help. Lisa: [Sobbing] OK! OK! Kevin…
Megan Vandergeld: [realizing her father’s hostage kidnapping plot, and he is the kidnapper] Daddy! Why are you doing this? Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson, but in his regular voice] Daddy didn’t tell you? He’s broke! Heather Vandergeld: [confused] What do you mean ‘broke’? Like, Martha Stewart…
Kevin Copeland: Forget him, Marcus. We can do this ourselves. Look, all we gotta is if, if, if... Marcus Copeland: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. ‘We?’ Kevin, this ain’t about ‘we.’ It’s never been. It’s about you. You come up with some stupid idea and I’m dumb enough to go along with it. And look…
Kevin Copeland: I’m gonna have a BF! Marcus Copeland: Oh, my God, she’s gonna have a bitch fit! Hotel Clerk: No, don’t d-d-d-don’t have a, a, a BF now. Kevin Copeland: I wanna speak to your supervisor! Better yet, I’m gonna write a letter! Marcus Copeland: You are in big trouble! Kevin Copeland:…
Kevin Copeland: [chasing and tackling Purse Snatcher] Gimme that. Purse Snatcher: Jesus, lady! All this for just a handbag? Kevin Copeland: It’s not ‘just’ a handbag. It’s Prada.
Once you go black, you gonna need a wheelchair.
These starving kids in Africa make me so sad. They don’t even have to try to be skinny.
Heather Vandergeld: Look who just flew in from the slums of Beverly Hills. Megan Vandergeld: It’s the Beverly Ho-Billies. Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] Squeeze me? Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson] Oh no, you didn’t? Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] I’m sorry, but uhm...we just saw…
She don’t know it yet...but that’s ‘Wifey’ right there.
Latrell Spencer: Oh, the deception. The betrayal. Man, you deceived me. Marcus Copeland: Look, man. Latrell Spencer: Negro, please. Didn’t anyone tell you that this was an all-white party, huh? Someone get this jigaboo away from me.