Unknown

1,631 quotes

“What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.”

“What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.”

“Why don’t crabs ever give to charity? Because they are shellfish.”

“Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.”

“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”

“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.”

“What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”

“Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged.”

“Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda-pressing.”

“What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.”

“Wanna hear a joke about the paper? Never mind, it’s tearable.”

“How do you make a Kleenex dance? ‘Put a little boogie in it!’”

“Why is it so great to be a test tube baby? You get a womb with a view.”

“What part of biology class do pregnant women fear? The sea section.”

“How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles.”

“Wanna hear a bad cat joke? Just kitten!”

“What happens when a bear is in the rain for too long? He becomes a drizzly bear.”