Unknown

1,631 quotes

“Yo mama is so hairy, when you were born you almost died of rug burn.”

“Yo mama is so ugly, she went into a haunted house and left with a job application.”

“Two wrongs don't make a right; take your parents as an example.”

“Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.”

“Husband [in front of the mirror]: ‘Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and bald?’ Wife: ‘I do.’”

“Wife [in front of the mirror]: ‘I feel ugly. Give me a compliment to make me feel better.’ Husband: ‘Your vision is absolutely perfect.’”

“Husband: ‘Wanna know when you orgasm next.’ Wife: ‘I’d rather not interrupt you at work.’”

“Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face.”