It's funny how those happy accidents can change the whole direction of your life. Although looking back, happy may be the wrong word.
— Aline Brosh McKenna, Dana Fox, Tony McNamara, Estella, Emma Stone, imdb.com
It's funny how those happy accidents can change the whole direction of your life. Although looking back, happy may be the wrong word.
— Aline Brosh McKenna, Dana Fox, Tony McNamara, Estella, Emma Stone, imdb.com
I've made a huge tiny mistake.
— Mitchell Hurwitz, Jim Vallely, Karey Dornetto, Gob Bluth, Will Arnett, imdb.com
You think he shit his own pants to look innocent?
I think I smashed my butt.
— Rob Klein, Michael Patrick O'Brien, Jack Griffin, Glenn Howerton, imdb.com
And of course the swastikas that were on the latest newsletter were supposed to have been octopuses. I am a very bad artist, and I apologize to any student I may have offended.
— Michael Patrick O'Brien, Rob Klein, Principal Durbin, Patton Oswalt, imdb.com
Oh. Dropped my cucumber.
— Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, imdb.com
Don't get drunk and shit in your sink again.
— Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, imdb.com
Adam Groff: You said there was gonna be no judgement. Is three viagras bad? Her reaction made it seem like it was bad. I feel lightheaded and I can taste scampi. Maeve Wiley: No wonder. You could besiege a castle with that thing. Adam Groff: I said stop staring at it! Maeve Wiley: Sorry, it's like a…
[speaking to the group] I came to Venice by accident. No, let me rephrase that. I came to Venice because of an accident. Ten years ago, I killed a man. It was my fault. There's no excuse for it. You see, when it's left up to me, my best thinking, well, my best thinking tells me it's okay to get load…
Things of consequence rarely happen by accident.
— Bob DeLaurentis, Noah Hawley, V.M. Vargas, David Thewlis, imdb.com
He had an accident when he was a kid. Still has a hum in the drum. Plays music to drown it out. And that's what makes him the best.
Coach Boone: [after Gary got into his car accident] I don't know mama, maybe Yost was right. Maybe I pushed him too hard. Carol Boone: Gary had an accident. Sometimes life's just hard, for no reason at all. Coach Boone: Do you think I was blinded by my own ambition? Carol Boone: Whatever kind of amb…
— Gregory Allen Howard, Coach Herman Boone, Denzel Washington, imdb.com
SpongeBoy, me Bob!
— Steve Fonti, Chris Mitchell, Mr. Lawrence, Mr. Krabs, Clancy Brown, imdb.com
What if he gets into an accident? What if he’s horribly disfigured, and I have to identify him, and all that remains are his private parts? I’m standing there, I’m saying, ‘Sorry, officer, I can’t help you, because no, I haven’t seen his penis.’ An then boom, he’s buried in an unmarked grave.
Bart: I've got a story so scary you'll wet your pants. Grampa: Too late.
— Wallace Wolodarsky, Sam Simon, Mike Reiss, Al Jean, Jon Vitti, Jay Kogen, Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright, imdb.com
Jace Wayland: That tree almost tore Simon's pretty face off. Simon Lewis: You think I'm pretty?
Abbi: What is your return policy? Cashier: It's 30 days. Abbi: Great, I'll see you in 30 days then....biiiiiiiiiiitch. Cashier: You still need to sign the receipt.
— Ilana Glazer, Abbi Jacobson, Abbi Abrams, Abbi Jacobson, imdb.com
Burger World manager: You don't get workers compensation for fighting, it has to be an accident. Beavis: You mean we, like, need to poop in our pants?
Tommy: Chuckie, I don't think most babies have your problem. Chuckie: Really? I thought everybody wet the bed once in a while. Tommy: Wet the bed? We thought you were talking about something else. Lil: Yeah, We wet the bed all the time. Phil: Every chance we get!
— Jonathan Blum, Jonathan Greenberg, Lil DeVille, Kath Soucie, imdb.com
Cartman: You were right, doctor. Everything is okay. Doctor: No, it's not. Eric, I'm afraid we accidentally infected you with the AIDS virus.
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