There’s a yeti on my roof.
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Latest Quotes
Hey, boy, or girl. [Everest quickly swipes and eat the dumplings Yi brought for him and then burps loudly] Yeah, you’re definitely a boy.
I just want to escape. Dad always wanted me to travel the world. Someday.
Yi’s Mom: Where are you going? Yi’s Grandmother: Be back before dinner. Yi’s Mom: Be careful out there. Yi’s Grandmother: No boys. Yi: Got it covered. Bye. [she leaves]
It’s true that exercise is one of the best things you can do for your mental health, but we also need to acknowledge that it’s often not as simple as lacing up your sneakers and heading out the door. It’s just not realistic to recommend that someone 'go exercise' when getting out of bed seems like t…
— Sarah Richards, The Problem With Suggesting Exercise For Depression
I have an H and a G and all that's missing is U.
— Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Elliot Birch (voice), Fred Armisen, The ASSes
Ugh, my brain is a tuna melt.
— Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Jessi Glaser (voice), Jessi Klein, The ASSes
I'm like Young Sheldon, if he fucked.
— Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Jay Bilzerian (voice), Jason Mantzoukas, The ASSes
By the end of the semester, you'll be eating your own ass.
— Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Maury the Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, The ASSes
Look, in the future, we're all gonna be either a Lyft driver or a billionaire.
— Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Nick Birch, Nick Kroll, The ASSes
I am not a kid, for your information. I am 60 years old. I remember when Moses was president.
— Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Jessi Glaser (voice), Jessi Klein, Rankings
Gay Town sounds fun, but I've thought a lot about it, and I belong in Biami.
— Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Jay Bilzerian (voice), Jason Mantzoukas, Rankings
Quick, stuff your bra with bacon. Boys love bacon.
— Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Connie the Hormone Monstress, Maya Rudolph, Rankings
Yeah, I feel like a dirty piece of meat. Like a slab of prime rib that knows what's what.
— Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Lola, Nick Kroll, Rankings
Kids just don't nut like they used to.
— Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Maury the Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, Duke
Gotham’s lost its way. What kind of coward would do something that coldblooded? Someone who hides behind a mask.
— Todd Phillips, Scott Silver, Thomas Wayne, Brett Cullen, Joker
You think this is funny? Is this a joke to you? [punches Arthur in the face]
— Todd Phillips, Scott Silver, Thomas Wayne, Brett Cullen, Joker
I used to think that my life was a tragedy. But now I realize, it’s a comedy.
— Todd Phillips, Scott Silver, Arthur Fleck / Joker, Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
Arthur Fleck: And Murray, one small thing. Murray Franklin: Yeah. Arthur Fleck: When you bring me out, can you introduce me as Joker?
— Todd Phillips, Scott Silver, Arthur Fleck / Joker, Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
In my whole life, I didn’t know if I even really existed. But I do. And people are starting to notice.
— Todd Phillips, Scott Silver, Arthur Fleck / Joker, Joaquin Phoenix, Joker