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1,631 quotes

“Why do hippies like camping? Cause it’s in tents, man.”

“What did one tonsil say to the other? Better get dressed. The doc’s taking us out tonight!”

“Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.”

“How do you find Will Smith when he’s lost in the snow? You just look for fresh prints.”

“Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? They woke him up.”

“What kind of bees make milk? Boo-bees.”

“What do you call two guys hanging on a window? Kurt and Rod.”

“What do you call a blind dinosaur? A do-you-think-he-saw-us.”

“Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing.”

“What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing. It just waved.”

Tagged: Puns

“What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around, and I’ll go ahead.”

“If you’re American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? Euro-peein’.”

“What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!”

“What did one firefly say to the other? You glow, girl!”

“Why did the superhero flush the toilet? Because it was his doody.”

“How do you get a tissue to dance? You put a little boogie into it.”

“What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling? Mistletoad.”

“What do hip-hop artists do on Christmas? Unwrap.”

“What do you call a snowman that can walk? Snow-mobile.”

“What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad? A pineapple!”