“Do you think we really needed Alaska and Hawaii? They gotta ruin everything. They ruined the continental United States. Ruined it! We have a beautiful Pacific coast, Atlantic coast, that’s the continental United States. You don’t need more states. We’re not the British Empire. Are they trying to tur…”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: Alaska, Hawaii, ruin everything, coast, States
“I’ll have a vanilla…one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want, some vanilla bullshit latte cappa thing. Whatever you got.”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: Vanilla, coffee order, latte, Struggling
“I gotta check out my penis, I have to go to the doctor now? That's going to be a lot of fun; 'Where'd you get the rash?' 'Oh, I stuck a doll's head down my pants, Doctor. It feels good to me!'”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: penis, doctor, Fun, sarcastic, Rash
“Grape works as a soda. Sort of as a gum. I wonder why it doesn’t work as a pie. Grape pie? There’s no grape pie.”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: Grape, soda, Gum, Pie, Questions
“Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is! All right, just get me the fucking head, all right?! Get me the fucking head, all right!? Both of you, I've had it! You four-eyed fuck and you fat piece of shit! Get me the head!”— Larry David, Susie Greene, Susie Essman, imdb.comTagged: doll head, Missing, angry, upset, commands
“I'm just nice. You have nice/pussy confusion.”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: Nice, Pussy, wimp, Confusion
“Jesus Christ! My penis is itching!”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: Jesus Christ, penis, itch, Uncomfortable
“'Bald Asshole?' That's a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a group.”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: bald, asshole, Hate crime, Group
“Well I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish.”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: Hate Myself, Jewish, Nothing To Do
“Walter: Are you Jewish? Larry: You wanna check my penis?”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: Jewish, penis, check, examine
“I'm feeling pretty good. Pret-ty, pret-ty, pret-ty, pret-ty good.”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: Pretty Good, Feeling
“Cliff Cobb: It's my grandfather's salad. I'm a Cobb of Cobb Salad fame. Larry: I think that this is a real bullshit story.”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: grandfather, Salad, Cobb Salad, Fame, Story
“Anybody want to help a semi-retarded individual change a tire?”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: change a tire, help, Disabled
“It seems silly to me to put a napkin on an old pair of pants.”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: Silly, napkin, Old, pants
“I am not an ass man! I don't have an ass fetish! I am not obsessed with asses.”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: ass, Man, Fetish, Butts, Obsessed
“Cheryl: Oh my God, is that the ocean? Larry: Eh, you get used to that in two days.”— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.comTagged: Ocean, Used To It, View