Frasier

“I'm basically your stuffy, buttoned down sort of guy, you're a free-spirited, adventurous mouse-painting, moon-howling sort of girl!”

— Rob Greenberg, Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

“Well, no wonder you're heartbroken; you've just lost the only woman you could even possibly sometime down the line perhaps fall in love with. I'm surprised the country music people haven't jumped all over this one!”

— Ken Levine, David Isaacs, Rob Hanning, Niles Crane, David Hyde Pierce, imdb.com

“Martin: Oh, Sherry took her sister to that store across the street to buy some 'foundation garments.' Frasier: I think they call them 'bras' now. Martin: Not these, you don't. You could cross the River Kwai on one of those babies.”

— Jeffrey Richman, Martin Crane, John Mahoney, imdb.com

“I've been down this road so many times I call it 'The Roz Expressway.'”

— Ken Levine, David Isaacs, Rob Hanning, Roz Doyle, Peri Gilpin, imdb.com

“My God, I've never had a night like this in my entire life! I'm a babe magnet, I'm catnip!”

— Rob Greenberg, Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

“Roz: Well, I think hugging is very healthy. I read somewhere that if you have physical contact on a regular basis, it can actually extend your life. Frasier: Well, in that case you should outlive Styrofoam!”

— Anne Flett-Giordano, Chuck Ranberg, Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

“Not one more deceitful word... your tongue could open a wine bottle!”

— Joe Keenan, Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

“I've always liked the notion of meeting the great figures of history. But then I think: what if it's like high school and all the really cool dead people don't want to hang out with me? Mozart'll tell me he's busy but then later I'll see him out with Shakespeare and Lincoln!”

— Suzanne Martin, Niles Crane, David Hyde Pierce, imdb.com

“Sherry: Oh, I love making people laugh. To me, humor is like medicine! Niles: I guess we're in the placebo group.”

— Joe Keenan, Niles Crane, David Hyde Pierce, imdb.com

“Are you quite finished undressing him with your eyes?”

— F.J. Pratt, Dan Cohen, Niles Crane, David Hyde Pierce, imdb.com

“Frasier: Well, do you want me to answer as a friend, or a therapist? Roz: As a friend. Frasier: See a therapist.”

— Suzanne Martin, Dr. Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

“It may be an unwise man who doesn't learn from his own mistakes, but it's an absolute idiot that doesn't learn from other people's.”

— Anne Flett-Giordano, Chuck Ranberg, Dr. Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

“If you ask me, celebrating a dance that brings more snakes into the world is like toasting a law school graduation.”

— Anne Flett-Giordano, Chuck Ranberg, Roz Doyle, Peri Gilpin, imdb.com

“Niles: You don't realize how desperate I am. Ever since our separation, I've been paying women to touch me. Frasier: Oh, Niles. Niles: Manicurists, pedicurists, facialists. Whenever you see a man who's well-groomed, you can bet he's not gettin' any.”

— Anne Flett-Giordano, Chuck Ranberg, Dr. Niles Crane, David Hyde Pierce, imdb.com

“I have a session with my multiple personality. Not to worry: if I'm late, he can just talk amongst himself.”

— Joe Keenan, Dr. Niles Crane, David Hyde Pierce, imdb.com

“Frasier: I, for one, happen to believe in the kindness of strangers. Roz: Well, I believe in the strangeness of strangers.”

— Jack Burditt, Roz Doyle, Peri Gilpin, imdb.com

“Daphne: It's not like men have never used sex to get what they want. Frasier: How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex is what we want!”

— Linda Morris, Vic Rauseo, Joe Keenan, Dr. Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

“Oh, for God's sake! I am trying to get some sleep. I asked you to keep that dog quiet, and instead you outfit him with a megaphone!”

— Anne Flett-Giordano, Chuck Ranberg, Dr. Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

“Martin: She just sat around whining all the time about how she'd like to be in a warmer climate. Frasier: My guess is she finally made it!”

— David Lloyd, Dr. Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

“Frasier: So you're suggesting that I go along and pretend I'm enjoying myself in something that gives me absolutely no pleasure at all just to hear the words 'I love you?' Daphne: Why not? Women have been doing it for centuries.”

— Steven Levitan, Daphne Moon, Jane Leeves, imdb.com