Quotes tagged ‘Hell’

“Michael: It's a torture museum. Famous examples of bad behavior, and explanations of the torture they earned. Jason: Is there a gift shop? Michael: Jason, this is Hell. Of course there's a gift shop.”

— Jen Statsky, Daniel Schofield, Michael, Ted Danson, imdb.com

“Chidi: I just want to have a little chat about your progress. In the last homework assignment, I asked you to examine the ethics of 'Les Misérables,' in which a man steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving family. Would you please read your first paragraph here? Michael: 'Everyone in this story s…”

— Josh Siegal, Dylan Morgan, Michael, Ted Danson, imdb.com

“Actually, it is kind of clever how they punish philosophers. Every day, they make them go to school naked, and then they take a test in a class they've never been to. And then they smash them with hammers. And that part is not so clever.”

— Joe Mande, Jen Statsky, Michael, Ted Danson, imdb.com

“You saw us all on Earth: a selfish ass, an idiot DJ, a tortured academic, a hot, rich fraud with legs for days... Side note, I might legit be into Tahani.”

— Michael Schur, Eleanor Shellstrop, Kristen Bell, imdb.com

“Michael: Hi there, since there's no Janet here to serve you, I brought you two a little treat. Chidi: Ah, kind of like a last meal? Michael: Not like a last meal, just, uh, the final food you might ever eat. Tahani: I'm gonna miss these little perks when I'm down in the Bad Place, being forced to we…”

— Megan Amram, Jen Statsky, Tahani Al-Jamil, Jameela Jamil, imdb.com

“Trevor: Oh, yeah, we're not negotiating. See, Fake Eleanor and I, we bro-ed down pretty hard last night. We hooked up. Eleanor: No, we didn't. Trevor: Yeah, but who are they gonna believe... me or a woman?”

— Jen Statsky, Trevor , Adam Scott, imdb.com

“Michael: Did you ever take off your shoes and socks on a commercial airline? Eleanor: And socks? Ew, who would do that? Michael: People who go to the Bad Place, Eleanor, that's the point. And unless I can figure out a compelling reason to keep you here, you will spend eternity with murderers, and ar…”

— Daniel Schofield, Michael, Ted Danson, imdb.com

“GO THE HELL TO FRANCE!!”

— Laura McCreary, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“To Laverne, If in heaven we don't meet, hand in hand we'll bear the heat. And if it ever gets too hot, Pepsi-Cola hits the spot.”

— Bob Brunner, Laverne De Fazio, Penny Marshall, imdb.com

“We are now entering Hell. Please keep your hands and elbows inside the car.”

— Glenn Eichler, Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Tracy Grandstaff, imdb.com

“War isn't hell. War is war, and hell is hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse.”

— Burt Prelutsky, Hawkeye Pierce, Alan Alda, imdb.com

“Mr. Garrison: And where are you from, Damien? Damien: The seventh layer of hell! Mr. Garrison: Oh, that's exciting, my mother was from Alabama.”

— Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Mr. Garrison, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Old Man: You've done a nice job. She looks peaceful. David: Well, she is at peace now. Old Man: If there's any justice in the universe, she's shoveling shit in hell.”

— Alan Ball, David Fisher, Michael C. Hall, imdb.com

“Charlie: Okay, okay. First of all, there are people out there who actually have been molested and you guys are going to exploit that for your own personal gain? You jackholes are securing your places in hell. Ryan: We've thought about it. We're willing to roll the dice.”

— Rob McElhenney, Charlie Kelly, Charlie Day, imdb.com

“I think my spleen is somewhere in the municipal sewer system. Ohhhhh, my butthole's the gateway to Hell!”

— Rene Gube, Rebecca Bunch, Rachel Bloom, imdb.com

“I've been all over the world and I've seen everything but hell and I guess I'll see that soon.”

— Carl Panzram, www-rohan.sdsu.edu

“Heather Duke: Veronica, you look like hell. Veronica: Yeah? I just got back.”

— Daniel Waters, Heather Duke, Shannen Doherty, amazon.com

“Are we going to prom or to hell?”

— Daniel Waters, Veronica Sawyer, Winona Ryder, amazon.com

“Hell isn’t where you go when you die, it’s what you become when everything you love has been taken away.”

— Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Sunny, Daniel Wu, imdb.com

“I’ve never had much use for the concept of hell, but if hell exists, I'm in it. The same images running through my head, over and over.”

— Drew Z. Greenberg, Dexter Morgan, Michael C. Hall, imdb.com