Quotes tagged ‘Diss’

“God, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch?”

— Mark Hudis, Bonnie Turner, Terry Turner, Eric Foreman, Topher Grace, imdb.com

“That's your own brain comprehending its own stupidity.”

— Mark Hudis, Red Forman , Kurtwood Smith, imdb.com

“There's nothing wrong with Maris that wouldn't be cured by a little sun, some exercise and a personality.”

— David Lloyd, Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

“You are a whimpering little twit.”

— I. Marlene King, Rebecca Serle, Nina Devon, Perrey Reeves, imdb.com

“Is crying on command something you got from your father or is that a trick you learned on your own?”

— Jeff Schechter, Linus Ahluwalia, Ritesh Rajan, imdb.com

“Your bedside manner is abysmal.”

— Hollie Overton, Ed Decter, Simon Lewis, Alberto Rosende, imdb.com

“Don't you guys have practice, or did you lose your balls?”

— I. Marlene King, Aria Montgomery, Lucy Hale, imdb.com

“One eye is bigger than the other. You look like a strung out Powerpuff girl!”

— Maya Goldsmith, Hanna Marin, Ashley Benson, imdb.com

“Abbi: What is your return policy? Cashier: It's 30 days. Abbi: Great, I'll see you in 30 days then....biiiiiiiiiiitch. Cashier: You still need to sign the receipt.”

— Ilana Glazer, Abbi Jacobson, Abbi Abrams, Abbi Jacobson, imdb.com

“Rob Norris: If I thrust too deeply, will my penis latch onto the IUD coil thingy and pull it out? Sharon Morris: Yeah. No, it's fine. They put it more than two and a half inches inside me.”

— Sharon Horgan, Rob Delaney, Sharon Morris, Sharon Horgan, imdb.com

“Dr. Eric Foreman: I think your argument is specious. Dr. Gregory House: I think your tie is ugly.”

— David Shore, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, imdb.com

“Well, the plot, unlike your hair, continues to thicken.”

— Bill Callahan, Shawn Spencer, James Roday, imdb.com

“Okay, you guys are actually devolving.”

— James Roday, Todd Harthan, Juliet O'Hara, Maggie Lawson, imdb.com

“I'm just getting started, you giant cockroach. You know what? That was out of line. I apologize to cockroaches everywhere, especially Jiminy Cricket, although for the first time in thirty years, it occurs to me... he might be a cricket.”

— James Roday, Saladin K. Patterson, Shawn Spencer, James Roday, imdb.com

“Where'd you get that suit, the toilet store?”

— Steve Franks, Shawn Spencer, James Roday, imdb.com

“Gus: I'm not mad; I'm happy, I'm thrilled. I love looking like an idiot. Shawn: That explains your shoes.”

— Steve Franks, Shawn Spencer, James Roday, imdb.com

“Neal's bathroom reminds me a lot of a skin tag. It's not hurting anything, but it doesn't look great.”

— Jonathan Van Ness, imdb.com

“Your mom's enthusiastic spending is exactly what Jesus had in mind when he invented capitalism.”

— Steve Hely, Laura McCreary, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Steve, it's a beautiful afternoon. Shouldn't you be outside with your friends turning my tool shed into Mordor or Endor or... something heartbreaking?”

— Brian Boyle, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Just because snow is the same color as our refrigerator, doesn't mean you know how it works.”

— Jim Bernstein, Chris McKenna, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com