Quotes tagged ‘Diss’

“Steve: I can't believe I'm gonna die a virgin. Francine: Aw, sweetie, there was a 70-80% chance of that happening, anyway.”

— David Zuckerman, Francine Smith (voice), Wendy Schaal, imdb.com

“Get your bloated carcass in here!”

— Adam Reed, Malory Archer (voice), Jessica Walter, imdb.com

“Archer: Name the douchebag who's in charge! Mobster: Vincent... Van Go-fuck-yourself. Archer: Vincent Van Go-fuck-myself. Survey says!”

— Adam Reed, Sterling Archer (voice), H. Jon Benjamin, imdb.com

“ISIS isn't your own personal travel agency. It doesn't exist just so you can jet off to... Whore Island!”

— Adam Reed, Malory Archer (voice), Jessica Walter, imdb.com

“Who taught me how to play ball? Your looney grandma?”

— Craig Bartlett, Joe Ansolabehere, Steve Viksten, Arnold (voice), Toran Caudell, imdb.com

“I know! Like Tiffany would ever date someone who wore a tweed jacket.”

— Peter Elwell, Quinn Morgendorffer (voice), Wendy Hoopes, imdb.com

“Helen: Quinn, what is that thing on your arm? Quinn: Don't worry, mom! It's fake. Daria: Aww, you got a tattoo to match your personality.”

— Glenn Eichler, Anne Bernstein, Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Tracy Grandstaff, imdb.com

“Brittany: Thanks for helping me earlier in art. May be there's something I could teach you. Daria: Well, you could show me how to twirl hair around my little finger and look vacant. [Twirling hair around her finger] Brittany: I don't know if that's something you can teach.”

— Anne Bernstein, Brittany Taylor (voice), Janie Mertz, imdb.com

“Angelica: [singing] Chuckie's gonna get eated,eated, eated, Chucke's gonna get eated cuz there's a monster under his bed! Tommy: Ah don't listen to her Chuckie! Lil: Yeah she's a terrible singer”

— Peter Gaffney, Lil DeVille, Kath Soucie, imdb.com

“You Babies are so dumb, I'm suprised you even know which end of the bottle to suck!”

— Doria Biddle, Vince Calandra, Angelica Pickles, Cheryl Chase, imdb.com

“Don't pout. It’s not attractive in a woman your age.”

— Kevin Williamson, Julie Plec, Damon Salvatore, Ian Somerhalder, imdb.com

“You play like an Amish kid!”

— Marta Kauffman, Howard J. Morris, Grace Hanson, Jane Fonda, imdb.com

“Law firms are for pansies.”

— Tom Verica, Jenna Bans, Stephen Finch, Henry Ian Cusick, imdb.com

“See you, Coach Dick and Balls.”

— Scott Marder, Rob Rosell, Deandra Reynolds, Kaitlin Olson, imdb.com

“The outcast. The slut. The bitch. The whore. The lonely, sad, slutty, bitchy whore. You sat on the sideline while these four titans battled it out. You were jealous that a few pieces of poop got more attention than you.”

— Rob McElhenney, Scott Marder, Rob Rosell, Artemis, Artemis Pebdani, imdb.com

“Mac, I'm gonna stop you right there. First of all, your breath smells like an old-lady fart passing through an onion. Secondly, I know you're trying to manipulate me. And it's not going to work. Get your hand off my shoulder because I've got a fatty to burn.”

— Glenn Howerton, Charlie Day, Deandra Reynolds, Kaitlin Olson, imdb.com

“Dee: I am not a failure! Mac: Dennis, what is it that you call it when somebody tries to do something but doesn't succeed? Dennis: Uh, that would in fact be a failure.”

— Charlie Day, Mac, Rob McElhenney, imdb.com

“Avi: My cleanse is pretty next level. I'm only eating clear foods, and I've given up all sexual intimacies. That's right, y'all. Avi's celibate. Penny: Are you sure that's a choice, Avi? Avi: Good dig. But jealousy is not a sweat pant that fits you well.”

— David Caspe, Penny Hartz, Casey Wilson, imdb.com

“I'm Doctor Who in this motherfucker! I could be a clone! I could be a hologram! We could clones controlled by robots controlled by special headsets that the real Rick and Morty are wearing while they're fucking your mother!”

— Justin Roiland, Dan Harmon, Rick Sanchez (voice), Justin Roiland, imdb.com

“Stupid-ass, fart-saving, carpet-store motherfucker.”

— David Phillips, Justin Roiland, Dan Harmon, Rick Sanchez (voice), Justin Roiland, imdb.com