I don’t see why I gotta go out with Buffy the White Girl Slayer.
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Marcus Copeland, Marlon Wayans, White Chicks
Catalog
Latest Quotes
I am so...frick-in’...pissed.
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Tiffany Wilson, Anne Dudek, White Chicks
Marcus Copeland: [Marcus emerges from the boot of the car, covered in the Wilson Sisters’ luggage] Man! You guys sure got a lot of bags for a weekend! Brittany Wilson: [scoffs] This isn’t a weekend! Tiffany Wilson: It’s the weekend! Brittany Wilson: Labor Day in The Hamptons. The last weekend of the…
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Tiffany Wilson, Anne Dudek, White Chicks
Tiffany Wilson: [Tiffany is reading the Hamptons newspaper and sees a picture of them in the paper] Oh my God! Brittany? Brittany Wilson: What? Tiffany Wilson: [shows Brittany the picture] We’re on page 6! Brittany Wilson: No! Tiffany Wilson: Yeah! Brittany Wilson: No! Tiffany Wilson: Yeah! Brittany…
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Tiffany Wilson, Anne Dudek, White Chicks
Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson] Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, checking in! [slams into postcard and knickknack holder, scattering items *loudly* across reception desk with his fake breasts] Kevin Copeland: Sorry, um, they’re new. Dr. Dorfman did an amazing job. Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilso…
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Kevin Copeland, Shawn Wayans, White Chicks
Kevin Copeland: [the Wilson Sisters get off the private jet, walk over to the arrival terminal, and meet Kevin and Marcus] Hi, I’m Kevin Copeland... Tiffany Wilson: [rolling her eyes, looking at them] We already gave to the United Negro Fund! Brittany Wilson: Yeah! [They continue walking] Marcus Cop…
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Kevin Copeland, Shawn Wayans, White Chicks
Agent Jake Harper: Hi. I, I, um...I need a credit card, please. And, and some I.D., please. Kevin Copeland: [‘Brittany’ takes ‘her’ I.D. out of ‘her’ handbag and realizes it has Kevin’s information and photo on. ‘She’ quickly thinks and acts offended] Credit card? I.D.? I’m so freakin’ pissed! First…
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Kevin Copeland, Shawn Wayans, White Chicks
Kevin Copeland: [as Brittney Wilson] [Brittney comes the dressing room with an outfit] Kevin Copeland: How about this? Lisa: [Sobbing] You bitch, that’s so terrible! Kevin Copeland: [as Brittney Wilson] OK I’m going to go get help OK, you need professional help. Lisa: [Sobbing] OK! OK! Kevin Copelan…
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Kevin Copeland, Shawn Wayans, White Chicks
Megan Vandergeld: [realizing her father’s hostage kidnapping plot, and he is the kidnapper] Daddy! Why are you doing this? Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson, but in his regular voice] Daddy didn’t tell you? He’s broke! Heather Vandergeld: [confused] What do you mean ‘broke’? Like, Martha Stewart ‘…
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Heather Vandergeld, Jaime King, White Chicks
Kevin Copeland: Forget him, Marcus. We can do this ourselves. Look, all we gotta is if, if, if... Marcus Copeland: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. ‘We?’ Kevin, this ain’t about ‘we.’ It’s never been. It’s about you. You come up with some stupid idea and I’m dumb enough to go along with it. And look wh…
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Kevin Copeland, Shawn Wayans, White Chicks
Kevin Copeland: I’m gonna have a BF! Marcus Copeland: Oh, my God, she’s gonna have a bitch fit! Hotel Clerk: No, don’t d-d-d-don’t have a, a, a BF now. Kevin Copeland: I wanna speak to your supervisor! Better yet, I’m gonna write a letter! Marcus Copeland: You are in big trouble! Kevin Copeland: Dea…
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Kevin Copeland, Shawn Wayans, White Chicks
Kevin Copeland: [chasing and tackling Purse Snatcher] Gimme that. Purse Snatcher: Jesus, lady! All this for just a handbag? Kevin Copeland: It’s not ‘just’ a handbag. It’s Prada.
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Kevin Copeland, Shawn Wayans, White Chicks
Once you go black, you gonna need a wheelchair.
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Latrell Spencer, Terry Crews, White Chicks
These starving kids in Africa make me so sad. They don’t even have to try to be skinny.
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Heather Vandergeld, Jaime King, White Chicks
Heather Vandergeld: Look who just flew in from the slums of Beverly Hills. Megan Vandergeld: It’s the Beverly Ho-Billies. Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] Squeeze me? Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson] Oh no, you didn’t? Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] I’m sorry, but uhm...we just saw you…
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Heather Vandergeld, Jaime King, White Chicks
She don’t know it yet...but that’s ‘Wifey’ right there.
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Latrell Spencer, Terry Crews, White Chicks
Latrell Spencer: Oh, the deception. The betrayal. Man, you deceived me. Marcus Copeland: Look, man. Latrell Spencer: Negro, please. Didn’t anyone tell you that this was an all-white party, huh? Someone get this jigaboo away from me.
— Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Andrew McElfresh, Xavier Cook, Michael Anthony Snowden, Latrell Spencer, Terry Crews, White Chicks
Shaun: [shouts] What am I doing? What are you doing, you stupid moron? Ed: Fuck off! Shaun: [shouts] You fuck off! Fuck fucking off! I’ve spent...look at me! I’ve spent my entire life sticking my neck out for you, and all you ever do is fuck things up! Fuck things up and make me look stupid! Well, I…
[Shaun and Ed pull up to Barbara’s house and sees Philip’s Jaguar in the driveway] Ed: Oh! Hello! Who’s a pretty boy, then? [wolf whistle] You didn’t tell me Barbara had a Jag. I’ve always wanted to drive one of those. Shaun: Yeah, well, it’s Philip’s, okay? He won’t let anybody near it. Honestly, I…
Shaun: No, Noel, no matter you might think, okay, I do not find it difficult to keep my work and my social life separate. Worker: Shaun, it’s Liz for you. [hands him the phone]