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Erik Stolhanske

48 quotesScreenwriter · Born Aug 23, 1968 · United States Of America · Male

Erik Stolhanske (born August 23, 1968) is an American actor, writer, and producer, and one of the members of the Broken Lizard comedy group. He graduated from Breck School, then Colgate University. At Colgate he was part of the troupe Charred Goosebeak, which included the others of Broken Lizard. He is a member of Beta Theta Pi at Colgate University.He was born without a fibula, and has had a prosthetic leg his entire life. He has since upgraded to a metal prosthetic, as shown in the Broken Lizard stand-up special, where the other members of the comedy troupe hit his leg with various items, including a metal baseball bat, a hammer. Since his movie career started picking up with Super Troopers, he has done talks at various venues about his life growing up without a leg, and how he overcame said adversity. He was captain of his baseball team in grade school. He was also featured in the original P90X workout series' plyometrics segment. 2Filmography 3Film 3Television He has also appeared on the P90X workout serie

All shenanigans (4)Shit (4)meow (3)cat game (2)chugging (2)cruel (2)mozzarella sticks (2)shooting (2)Idiot (2)fuck your mother (2)bite it (2)Mexico (2)Unions (2)tragic (2)insults (2)

From “Super Troopers”

Thorny: Where are your shoes? Foster: What are you, the shoe police? Thorny: I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar. Foster: Black magic only works on the rookie. Thorny: That's brown magic.

black magic shoe police

Foster: [explaining his low number of citations issued] I can't make them speed. Captain O'Hagan: Try hiding.

Speeding Hiding

Littering and... littering and... littering and smokin' the reefer.

littering Reefer Marijuana Slacker

Captain O'Hagan: There was a time when we'd take a guy like you in the back and beat you with a hose. Now you've got your goddamned unions. Farva: Cap'n...you know I'm not a pro-union guy.

Police Brutality Unions Goddamned

Rabbit: [lifting soap out of coffee] Oh, look, a bar of soap. Farva: Oohoohoh shit. I got you good, you fucker! Mac: Awesome prank, Farva. Farva: Better'n the crap you pull, Mac.

Pranks Shit

Captain O'Hagan: Bulletproof cup, huh? I invented this gag, Rabbit. Only in my day, the rookie got naked. [fires through the window, accidentally shooting out the glass] And we also used blanks. You're a sick motherfucker, Mac. Mac: Thanks, Chief!

Bulletproof sick motherfucker

Who can say 'meow' the most? You guys are real crazy, hey look out for these guys.

meow crazy

Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?

Cat milk saucer Mice

It stinks like sex in here.

stink Sex

Thorny: Are you okay? College Boy 2: Yeah, sure. Thorny: Yes sir? College Boy 2: Yes sir. Thorny: No, did you say 'yes sir.'? Rabbit: I think he said 'yeah, sure.' College Boy 1: What'd you say man? College Boy 2: When I said, 'yeah, sure', but what... literally what I said was 'yeah, sure, sir.'…

yeah sure yes sir Homonyms

[repeated line] Thorny: Enhance. Captain O'Hagan: Just print the damn thing!

enhance damned Impatience

Thorny: [upon seeing Farva in a local cop uniform] What the fuck, Farva? Captain O'Hagan: What are you doing wearing that uniform in my station? Farva: Looks who's talking 'Denim Dan'! You look like the President and CEO of Levi-Strauss!

WTF Uniform CEO Levi-Strauss

Captain O'Hagan: What's the significance of this John Chimpo fella? Foster: You know those really cheap Japanese cartoons? No? This is basically a cheaper, Afghani knockoff. It's this monkey that basically travels around the world, doing nasty things. His butler tries to keep him in line, but, uh...…

Monkey afghani dumbest

[Mac gets shot in the crotch while wearing the steel cup ] Foster: How you feelin' there, Mac? Mac: Good enough...to fuck...your mother.

fuck your mother

[Chugging maple syrup] Three...two...one...DO EET. Oh, go, girlfriend.

chugging Do It maple syrup

Captain O'Hagan: That's it. You're off the road, never again. Farva: Sir, it was not my fault! Captain O'Hagan: Neither was the goddamn school bus! You know, there was a time we'd take a guy like you out back and beat you with a hose; now you got your Goddamn unions. Farva: Cap, You know I'm not a…

Unions Goddamn banned cleaning lady

Mac: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun! Thorny: [referring to Farva] Yeah, and his shenanigans are cruel and tragic. Foster: [after a pause] Which... makes them not really shenanigans at all. Mac: [in a silly voice] Evil shenanigans!

shenanigans cruel tragic Evil

Desperation is a stinky cologne.

Desperation Stinky cologne

Police Chief Grady: I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamoles. Smy? Officer Smy: Yeah, chief. I'll have a CHINCHILLA! Rabbit: I don't get it. Tacos? Thorny: They think I'm Mexican. Rabbit: You're not Mexican?

Tacos Enchiladas guacamole Mexican

Mac: Oh, c'mon, we're like the sons you never had. Captain O'Hagan: If you were my son, Mac, I would've smothered you by now. Mac: Smothered me in gravy, you big dirty man.

Sons dirty gravy

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