“Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, Jokes, Best Jokes, Makes You Think Jokes
“Two mallards walk into a bar, the third one ducks.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, One-Liners, Puns, Animal Jokes
“It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, Kleptomaniacs, Punny Jokes, One-Liners
“A girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave it to her.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, Double Entendre, Punny Jokes
“I'm trying to be less self-deprecating, but I'm not very good at it.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, One-Liners, Self-Deprecating Humor, Self-Deprecating
“I removed the shell from my racing snail to make him go faster, but if anything it made him more sluggish.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, Animal Jokes, Puns, One-Liners
“Like a German vegetarian, I feared the wurst.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, German, Wurst, Puns, play on words
“My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.”Tagged: Funny Jokes, Animal Jokes, Flamingos, Dating, Relationships
“People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, Condescending, Confidence, Big Ego, Talking Down To People
“Meditate for 15 minutes daily. You will be happier, more emotionally stable, more focused, and more motivated if you repeat this for at least a week.”Tagged: meditation, Happiness, Emotionally Stable, Focus, motivation
“When in a difficult life moment, ask yourself two questions...Am I happy in this moment?...Am I happy overall?”Tagged: Happiness, Are You Happy, Life Hacks, calm, Difficult Moments In Life
“The mighty Oak tree was once a nut that stood its ground.”Tagged: Don't Give Up, Growth, You Are Strong
“You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool mom.”Tagged: I Love You Mom, Motherhood, Family, Love, Unconditional Love
“Over thinking ruins you. Ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry and just makes things much worse than it actually is.”Tagged: Overthinker, Overthinking, Overthink, Relationships
“Smart girls are the over-thinkers, the insecure ones, the different ones. They know what the real world is like. They analyze every little thing in life. Why? To avoid getting hurt. To find happiness. They stay up at night trying to think about every possible situation to get through all the…”Tagged: Over Thinker, Overthinker, Overthinking, Anxiety
“Write this stuff down. Take notes, I'll wait. You're 24. Don't let some 32 year old tie you down and impregnate you. He doesn't know you. Have sex with a lot of people. All kinds of people. Not just the people you think are your type, just like a lot of people. Maybe even me, what are you doing…”Tagged: Love You Haven't Found Yet, Sex, Love, Dating, Relationships
“Leos consider themselves indispensable and the center of the universe, and those who would tell them otherwise had better look out! Lions are outgoing, self-assured and have a tremendous zest for life. So what if the world revolves around them? There are worse role models, for sure. The Lion's…”Tagged: Leos, Horoscope, Zodiac, Enthusiasm, Warmth
“Warmth and enthusiasm seems to seep from every Leo pore, making these folks a pleasure to be around. They do love pleasure! It's the Lion that symbolizes Leos, and the king (or queen) of the jungle is a most appropriate mascot, since they consider themselves the rulers of their universe (and the…”Tagged: Leos, Horoscope, Zodiac, Enthusiasm, Warmth