Season 1

“Richie: We played chess. Fonzie: You played with her chest?”

— Rob Reiner, Garry Marshall, Phil Mishkin, Richie Cunningham, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“Fonzie: Like I always say, you live fast, you die young, you leave a good-looking corpse. Potsie: Hey, that's cool. Richie: Nick Romano said that in Knock on Any Door. Fonzie: I think I said it better.”

— Richard Morgan, Fonzie, Hen, imdb.com

“Marion: Don't you think we should move the bathroom somewhere else so that, when people drop in, it won't be the first thing they see? Howard: Marion, we're not trying to get into Better Homes and Gardens. We're trying to survive a nuclear attack. Marion: I know, but we can survive with good taste.”

— Richard Morgan, Howard Cunningham, Tom Bosley, imdb.com

“Fonzie: Hey, Cunningham, which is cooler? The mirrors up like this at an angle or down like this, straight? Richie: Well, I think you can see better with them down at an angle. Fonzie: Hey, I don't wanna see where I've been. I wanna see how cool I look getting there!”

— Ben Joelson, Art Baer, Fonzie, Henry Winkler, imdb.com

“Fonzie: You gotta have cousins and in-laws and stuff. I mean, all those people! I got nothing against marriage, but how am I gonna get them all on my bike at the same time? Howard: Marion, do you remember our wedding night? Marion: Howard, we've been married twenty-one years. You can stop apologizin…”

— Joel Kane, Fonzie, Henry Winkler, imdb.com

“Marion: How was the Junior Chipmunk meeting, dear? Joanie: It was good. Barbara Jo Allen ate a fly. Howard: Well, with beef at 68 cents a pound, I can't blame her.”

— Peggy Elliott, Ed Scharlach, Marion Cunningham, Marion Ross, imdb.com

“Marion: Your father once even sent me a five-pound box of candy on Valentine's Day anonymously. He was a devil. Howard: I never ever sent you a five-pound box of candy. Marion: You didn't? Howard: No, I didn't. Marion: Then I must have married the wrong man.”

— Jack Winter, Marion Cunningham, Marion Ross, imdb.com

“Howard: What are you going to wear to Ralph's costume party? Richie: I haven't decided yet. Marion: How about something like Donald Duck? Richie: Oh, Mom! Marion: What's wrong with Donald Duck? Joanie: Mom, it's hard to neck with a beak.”

— Jack Winter, Howard Cunningham, Tom Bosley, imdb.com

“Richie: Why did you let me kiss you if you didn't want to go steady? Cindy: Because whenever I study with boys, all they think about is how to kiss me. So, I give them one kiss, and then we can concentrate on the books. It's a study system.”

— Jack Winter, Richie Cunningham, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“Richie: You know, here we are, two able-bodied men with no money. Why? Potsie: Because we're lazy?”

— Dick Bensfield, Perry Grant, Richie Cunningham, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“What's the world coming to when you can't bribe your best friend?”

— Jack Winter, Potsie, Anson Williams, imdb.com

“Richard, there is one thing that women like men to do. It's what they call 'a romantic gesture.' We men call it 'eating crow.'”

— Garry Marshall, William Bickley, Howard Cunningham, Tom Bosley, imdb.com

“Richie: Arlene, we've only been going together for two weeks. It's not like we're married. Arlene: Richie, one week is a crush. Two weeks is a commitment.”

— Garry Marshall, William Bickley, Richie Cunningham, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“Richie: You make school sound like good fun. Fonzie: Well, school's got good points. I mean, smoking in the bathroom, cutting classes, showing my tattoo to the chicks.”

— Bob Brunner, William Bickley, Richie Cunningham, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“Marion: What do you plan to do when you get out of school? Fonzie: Oh, I was thinking I might become a cop. Marion: That's very admirable. Fonzie: I mean, it's the only job I know where they pay you to drive a motorcycle.”

— Garry Marshall, William Bickley, Fonzie, Henry Winkler, imdb.com

“Richie: We played chess. Fonzie: You played with her chest?”

— Rob Reiner, Garry Marshall, Phil Mishkin, Richie Cunningham, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“Richie Cunningham: All we had was beer in teeny-weeny little glasses. Howard Cunningham: How many teeny-weeny little glasses did you have? Richie Cunningham: Seventy-two. Howard Cunningham: I think it's time for some teeny-weeny cups of coffee.”

— Bob Brunner, William Bickley, Richie Cunningham, Ron Howard, imdb.com