“What are you doing?!? When I'm talking to girls, don't stick your fingers in your mouth!”— Paula A. Roth, Judy Skelton, Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman, David L. Lander, imdb.com
“Quinn: Eww! You're not really gonna eat all that fat, are you? Daria: No, I'm going to stick it in my boots 'cause I love the squishy, squishy feeling 'round my toes.”— Peggy Nicoll, Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Tracy Grandstaff, imdb.com
“I gotta say, the Chinese know how to make a terrible Scotch.”— Michael Schur, Daniel J. Goor, Terry Jeffords, Terry Crews, imdb.com
“Holt: Here are two pictures. One is your locker; the other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you guess which is which? Peralta: That one's the dump? Holt: They're both your locker.”— Michael Schur, Daniel J. Goor, Captain Ray Holt, Andre Braugher, imdb.com
“Fill me up with cream. Turn me into cannoli.”— Glenn Howerton, Rob McElhenney, Frank Reynolds, Danny DeVito, imdb.com
“So the Wendy's manager was like 'You gotta clean dat up!' and I was like they're your hamburgers you clean them up. Artemis was all bummed out about something I did to myself with the onions and now she won't talk to me.”— Glenn Howerton, Charlie Day, Frank Reynolds, Danny DeVito, imdb.com
“Dee: Maybe you shouldn't have your window open! Mac: maybe you shouldn't be throwing jars of piss out the window!”— Glenn Howerton, Charlie Day, Mac, Rob McElhenney, imdb.com
“I eat stickers all the time dude!”— Glenn Howerton, Charlie Day, Charlie Kelly, Charlie Day, imdb.com
“I have a little bit of a problem with old people...I find them kinda creepy...and scary. And gross, kinda gross. It's their hands really, you can see right through 'em and all their inside business.”— Rob McElhenney, Deandra Reynolds, Kaitlin Olson, imdb.com
“Ah, not a problem for me. I love a good public poo. It's like, leave it and forget it - not my mess!”— Erin Ehrlich, Aline Brosh McKenna, Rebecca Bunch, Rachel Bloom, imdb.com
“I think my spleen is somewhere in the municipal sewer system. Ohhhhh, my butthole's the gateway to Hell!”— Rene Gube, Rebecca Bunch, Rachel Bloom, imdb.com
“Bridgette: I'm going on a date with my dad! Eliza: Yay! So gross.”— Frankie Shaw, Bridgette Bird, Frankie Shaw, imdb.com
“As soon as somebody farts around me, I think it's hilarious. This is something my brothers did that now the boys at work are obsessed with. You cup it, and then you throw it in someone's face and say, ‘Take a bite out of that cheeseburger!'”— Jennifer Lawrence, marieclaire.co.uk
“Remember that time in science class when I tried to sneak out a fart but it came out a poop? And then I had to flush my undies down the toilet? Do you think I wanted to tell you guys that?”— Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Patty Lin, Bill Haverchuck, Martin Starr, imdb.com
“Why don't you blow your nose in some bread and make me a sandwich?”— Paul Feig, Kim Kelly, Busy Philipps, imdb.com
“She totally gross over 90% of her body, the other 10% is crazy-nasty.”— Tom Herpich, Dr. Ice Cream, (Not Listed), imdb.com
“Dr. Spencer Reid: All right, try looking for thefts involving body parts, specifically left legs. Penelope Garcia: Okay. See, this is why I can't talk about how my day was at dinner. Breakfast, lunch.”— Virgil Williams, Dr. Spencer Reid, Matthew Gray Gubler, imdb.com