Quote
Catalog

Quotes tagged ‘Shock’

(47 total)

What does a blow job mean? What are you a girl?

— Michelle Ashford, Dr. William Masters, Michael Sheen, imdb.com

Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass.

— Gennifer Hutchison, Jimmy McGill, Bob Odenkirk, imdb.com

Gus: He has a Masters in Psychology and Criminology from Harvard AND an MBA! Shawn: Get outta here. He's got a Monkey Basketball League?

— Bill Callahan, Shawn Spencer, James Roday, imdb.com

Shawn: My name is Shawn Spencer, well known psychic. This is my associate Burton Guster. Gus: Now you use my real name?!

— Steve Franks, Tim Meltreger, Shawn Spencer, James Roday, imdb.com

Lassiter: You brought a date to the crime scene? Shawn: It was either this or ice skating.

— Andy Berman, Shawn Spencer, James Roday, imdb.com

I can't believe you actually thought that text was from me. It lacked all nuance, my signature mocking tone, and was utterly devoid of emoticons.

— Tim Meltreger, Kell Cahoon, Shawn Spencer, James Roday, imdb.com

Text bubbles are made out of flesh-eating bacteria. You didn't know that?

— Sam Brenner, Kathryn Borel, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

*Gasp* I dropped my meatball in the pool!

— Chris McKenna, Keith Heisler, Matt Fusfeld, Alex Cuthbertson, Matt McKenna, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

An above ground sprinkler on the front lawn! No sir! What's next, prostitutes rising out of the ground and spitting all over our lawns? Well not in my neighborhood!

— Brian Boyle, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Can you believe?

— Jonathan Van Ness, imdb.com

Tommy: This coffee taste like mud! Chuckie: It is mud.

— Jonathan Greenberg, Mitchell Kriegman, Chuckie Finster (voice), Nancy Cartwright, imdb.com

AAAAAAAH! MY DAD'S BEEN DECAFFEINATED!

— David Benavente, Michael J. Benavente, Chuckie Finster (voice), Nancy Cartwright, imdb.com

FLIMSY!

— Marta Kauffman, Howard J. Morris, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

She said 'vagina.' A woman said 'vagina.'

— Rob McElhenney, Glenn Howerton, Mac, Rob McElhenney, imdb.com

Surprise, bitches! We're alive and it's blowing your minds right now!

— Glenn Howerton, Charlie Day, Rob McElhenney, Deandra Reynolds, Kaitlin Olson, imdb.com

Dennis: This Jew's in for a ton of work. Mac: Come on, man! You can't say things like that! Dennis: I don't know what I said. What'd I say? Charlie: Uh, you dropped a hard 'J' on us.

— Rob McElhenney, Charlie Kelly, Charlie Day, imdb.com

Penny: Oh, my God! When I get drunk, I speak Italian! Alex: [her face and hands smeared with sauce] Oh, my God! When I get drunk, I eat ribs!

— David Caspe, Alex Kerkovich, Elisha Cuthbert, imdb.com

Elliot: Oh my God! She has a tattoo of a teardrop on her bajingo! Is it sad? Carla: Her vagina, Elliot. She has a tattoo on her beautiful vagina.

— Matt Tarses, Gabrielle Allan, Carla Espinosa, Judy Reyes, imdb.com

Despite having considered myself a monster for as long as I can remember, it still comes as a shock when I'm confronted with the depth of evil that exists in this world.

— Scott Buck, Tim Schlattmann, Dexter Morgan, Michael C. Hall, imdb.com

I don't understand you. I really don't. You have nothing better to do at three o’clock in the afternoon? I go out for a quart of milk, I come home, and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!

— Larry David, Estelle Costanza, Estelle Harris, imdb.com

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