Yeah, see you tomorrow. Shit biscuit.
Catalog
Latest Quotes
Your mum's new boyfriend is a big, hot, sticky wet dream.
This is America. We don’t share land here.
— Taylor Sheridan, John Linson, John Dutton, Kevin Costner, A Monster Is Among Us
Thank you, Eric, for that rendition of the school anthem. It was... adequate.
It started right after my mother died when I was about eleven. I would repetitively hit something, usually on my hands, and it would get so numb. And then I would know when it was broken and then I would stop. I think what I liked—what I’ve learned through years of therapy, now as a fifty- five-year…
Otis, it's perfectly normal for a younger man to be sexually attracted to a mature woman. In fact, when you stigmatize his choice, then you feed into an unhealthy narrative on masculinity in middle age.
I think it’s because I didn’t have a mother. I really wanted to have a mother. Every child, I think, wants to have that one person who’s going to be your forever person. I used to take my friends’ moms and totally be the kiss-ass nice. My friends were like, 'Will you stop talking to my mom?' You’re…
Eric Effoing: He still calls me 'Tromboner.' It's been four years. Four years! Otis Milburn: You did get an erection on stage, in front of the entire school. Eric Effoing: It was a semi!
From the time I was growing up, if I felt that there was some pot of gold waiting for me, I don’t know that I would have been so motivated.
My dad was from Mississippi. We are from a really poor family. He died when I was ten. There’s a saying that my mom actually used to say to me when I was a kid, which is, 'A fatherless child thinks all things are possible and nothing is safe.'
I do think in cable news that the networks that have strong opinions—whether you’re a conservative network like Fox or a liberal network like MSNBC—when there’s not a huge news story going on, they’re entertaining, and those are what people tune in to.
A private citizen who’s a phony. He’s a phony. I wasn’t afraid of him at all. I never even thought of it. Now people are saying, 'Well, aren’t you afraid because he’s the president?' I’m like, 'No.' He doesn’t have any kind of real power. Everybody with an IQ of over 100—he loves the IQs—can underst…
Exactly. I thought it had to be worse. It hurt— my arms hurt— but you’ve seen people, mostly men, on TV get a heart attack, they grab their chest, they fall down, right? I thought to myself, 'This can’t be a heart attack.' Because a heart attack would, like, knock me out. Yolanda King, Martin Luther…
It’s his project, except we found the book. And so this is the thing that people go, 'Oh, he’s a mogul.' The image of a mogul I have is a guy who smokes cigars, not a guy who reads three books a week and ten or twelve scripts.
I went on right after Columbine. The last week of April 1999. I could not work. I couldn’t stop crying on live TV. I couldn’t find the reason. The doctor said, 'You must go on medication.' I went on Prozac. I was on it for about four years, and then I had what’s called the Prozac Poop, where it sort…
No, no. You think I’m gonna get finger-blasted and not fucked? What kind of operation do you think I’m running?
’ll give you the best Hollywood story that I’ve never been able to say on the air, and I’ll tell it to you first. This is what I do. I’m not the mogul. But this is what I do. Years and years ago, John Gordon, a producer who used to work for me, and Kevin Smith, the guy who created Clerks, say, “Yeah…
What stops us from looking at ourselves and seeing ourselves is that we’re kind of ugly if we look really hard. We’re not who we think we are. We’re not as wonderful.
I do not like people who complain about being famous. But I’d say to people, 'You want to be rich and famous? Try being rich and see if that doesn’t cover most of it for you.'
I didn’t know about masturbation. The first time I had an orgasm, I didn’t know what it was. I’m like, 'Something just happened to my body.' I tried to look it up in the dictionary because we didn’t have Internet.