Season

Season 13

by Wendy Schaal, Rachael MacFarlane, Scott Grimes, Seth MacFarlane, Dee Bradley Baker and 4 others

(15 total)

Characters

Seth MacFarlane (9)Jeff Kauffmann (6)Roger The Alien (5)Stan Smith (voice) (4)Joe Chandler (3)Nic Wegener (3)Scott Grimes (2)Teresa Hsiao (2)Dee Bradley Baker (2)Klaus (voice) (2)

“You were just humming the Cheers theme song and shitting yourself.”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Klaus (voice), Dee Bradley Baker, imdb.com

Tagged: Cheers, Theme Song, Shitting, Poop, high

“You sound like the cops. They've given up on the case already too. To them, I'm just one more white kid who got stabbed in a bowling alley.”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Steve Smith (voice), Scott Grimes, imdb.com

Tagged: Cops, Given Up, case, Stabbed, Bowling Alley

“Pedophile: So, uh, which boy is yours? Stan: The hot one, duh.”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Pedophile, Hot, Attractive, Son, obvious

“News flash bong brain, I never pull out. Boom-shaka-lacka.”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Brain, Pull-Out, New Flash

“When I joined the CIA, I knew the deal. If we make a mistake, we cover it up. Like the time Dick accidentally created feline AIDS and we covered it up by blaming it on gay cats.”

— Charles Suozzi, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: gay, Blame, CIA, cover it up, cats

“[when The Smiths discover the pile of salt in the ground] Steve: White, dusty oil? Francine: Lawn dandruff? Klaus: A third ridiculous guess?”

— Kirk J. Rudell, Klaus (voice), Dee Bradley Baker, imdb.com

Tagged: salt, Ridiculous, guessing, Clues, Uncertainty

“I was supposed to be on that bus, but there was a lady with a chicken on there. What is this, like, Guatemala? What the hell? Leave your bird at home, lady.”

— Teresa Hsiao, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: bus, chicken, bird, Lady with bird, Guatemala

“Doctors are stupid, Roger. They're just failed dentists.”

— Joe Chandler, Nic Wegener, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: doctors, Stupid, Failure, Dentists

“Without the crisscross, I'm just some guy yelling 'applesauce.'”

— Nic Wegener, Joe Chandler, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Jump rope, Crisscross, Applesauce, kids games, Fun

“Roger: I once survived four days in a Del Taco parking lot extracting life-saving nutrients from puddles and bird shit. Steve: Why didn't you just go into the Del Taco? Roger: I'm a Taco Bell man.”

— Zachary Rosenblatt, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: survivial, Tacos, Life Or death, Nutrients, Life saving

“No, Dad, crazy baloney is real. It's called pepperoni.”

— Greg Cohen, Steve Smith (voice), Scott Grimes, imdb.com

Tagged: Pepperoni, crazy, Baloney, real

“Stan: Look out, world, God and Stan are back together again! Roger: It's not official 'til you change your Facebook status!”

— Greg Cohen, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: God, Facebook, Facebook Official, back together

“A cake gets messed up. A Quiznos bathroom gets messed up. You destroyed a galaxy, mother.”

— Parker Deay, Jordan Blum, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Messed Up, Destroyed, galaxy, Cake, bathroom

“When I have a baby, I'm going to name it 'Recycle.'”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Nic Wegener, Joe Chandler, Hayley Smith (voice), Rachael MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Baby, Baby Name, recycle, Hippie

“Stan, we can't have a grown woman acting like a child in our house. This ain't no Disney Channel.”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Teresa Hsiao, Francine Smith (voice), Wendy Schaal, imdb.com

Tagged: Child, grown woman, Disney Channel, Acting