Season 2

“Johnny: I remember I broke up with Stacy Laruzzo a week before Valentine's Day. I got back with her a week after. No chocolates, no roses... Eric: No class.”

— Brian Burns, Cliff Dorfman, Eric Murphy, Kevin Connolly, imdb.com

“I'm worried about me. I mean, look at me, I've been lying to you guys like a fuckin' drug addict. I didn't oversleep, I didn't want to go, I never want to leave her side, not for five seconds. I've never been like this in my life, guys. And the truth of the matter is, I don't give a fuck about the m…”

— Stephen Levinson, Rob Weiss, Cliff Dorfman, Vincent Chase, Adrian Grenier, imdb.com

“Johnny: This is kind of embarrassing, but sometimes I wake up in the morning fully tented. Any advice? Dr. Joyce Brothers: Well, at your age, consider yourself lucky. Johnny: How fucking old do you think I am?”

— Doug Ellin, Cliff Dorfman, Johnny "Drama" Chase, Kevin Dillon, imdb.com

“Ari: I'm amazing. You miss me? Emily: Like I miss head lice.”

— Chris Henchy, Doug Ellin, Emily, Samaire Armstrong, imdb.com

“My legs are my livelihood.”

— Chris Henchy, Doug Ellin, Johnny "Drama" Chase, Kevin Dillon, imdb.com

“I would give my left arm to do a Cameron movie.”

— Chris Henchy, Doug Ellin, Johnny "Drama" Chase, Kevin Dillon, imdb.com

“Who are we without our integrity, right?”

— Rob Weiss, Cliff Dorfman, Ari Gold, Jeremy Piven, imdb.com

“Eric: Forget that girl. The only reason she was with me was 'cause I'm your manager. Turtle: So? Do you know how much pussy I got in this town that I didn't deserve? Drama: All of it?”

— Doug Ellin, Cliff Dorfman, Rob Weiss, Johnny "Drama" Chase, Kevin Dillon, imdb.com

“Turtle: He cries in front of her, shows her he's sensitive... bang! He moves right in. Johnyy: Yeah. His tears will basically act as a lubricant.”

— Doug Ellin, Cliff Dorfman, Johnny "Drama" Chase, Kevin Dillon, imdb.com

“Turtle: Me and Drama had a little incident. Eric: What kind of incident? Johnny: Don't fucking say it, man. Vince: No no, say it. Turtle: We accidentally crossed swords.”

— Rob Weiss, Stephen Levinson, Cliff Dorfman, Turtle, Jerry Ferrara, imdb.com

“One day you're lighting up in front of a dozen adults at a Bat Mitzvah, the next you're cruisin' Santa Monica Boulevard offering handjobs for a crack rock.”

— Doug Ellin, Rob Weiss, Johnny "Drama" Chase, Kevin Dillon, imdb.com

“If all of this is not taken care of, I'll choke you out with a strap-on!”

— Chris Henchy, Doug Ellin, Ari Gold, Jeremy Piven, imdb.com

“Now, why don't you get your hand off your dick and go call somebody.”

— Doug Ellin, Chris Henchy, Eric Murphy, Kevin Connolly, imdb.com

“It's not the money, it's the principle.”

— Doug Ellin, Larry Charles, Johnny "Drama" Chase, Kevin Dillon, imdb.com

“Eric: Tom Cruise is going to play Pablo Escobar? C'mon, the guy's not even Hispanic. Ari: Yeah, and Hilary Swank has a vagina, but she won an Oscar pretending she has a dick. That's what actors do. They pretend.”

— Doug Ellin, Larry Charles, Ari Gold, Jeremy Piven, imdb.com

“Ari: This kid's got no patience. You know, in some countries they cut off your little elfin feet for disrupting the master's flow. Eric: I'll shove my elfin foot up in your ass!”

— Doug Ellin, Larry Charles, Eric Murphy, Kevin Connolly, imdb.com

“Sex, drugs, and salsa!”

— Doug Ellin, Larry Charles, Vincent Chase, Adrian Grenier, imdb.com

“Johnny: Let me get this straight. She convinces you to get these extravagant accommodations and then she bails? Eric: She didn’t bail, she got sick. Before the date, unlike your girls, that get sick when they arrive.”

— Cliff Dorfman, Doug Ellin, Johnny "Drama" Chase, Kevin Dillon, imdb.com

“Ari: Chang Chung is the hottest director in Hong Kong. Tarantino has already decided he's the next guy he wants to steal from. Vince: Cool. Guy must be good. Tarantino only steals from the best.”

— Larry Charles, Brian Burns, Vincent Chase, Adrian Grenier, imdb.com

“Mrs Ari: I want three weeks in the south of France with the children. Ari: Oh my God baby, of course you can go. Mrs Ari: With you. And if you're not home by 2AM, I'm gonna be standing at the gate screaming 'Ari Gold, super agent, forgot his Viagra.'”

— Rob Weiss, Ari Gold, Jeremy Piven, imdb.com